Triple threat: The UAAP round-up so far

With the first half of the season almost done, we kinda-sorta recap what the school teams have done and where they might be headed. We couldn’t find a sports expert, so we got Young STAR editor at large Erwin Romulo to help us out. (Warning: The following discussion is not for the faint of heart.)

FEU — First place (6-0)

Jiggy: Thanks for joining us, Erwin. Are you surprised FEU is at the top of the standings?

Erwin: Not really. I haven’t followed much of the UAAP this season.

Jonty: I’m just happy Terrence Romeo (their star point guard) is giving us much effort on his game as much as he does his hair.

ERWIN: Who that is?

Jiggy: Terrence Romeo was supposed to be the Russell Westbrook to RR Garcia’s Kevin Durant but Romeo is fast becoming FEU’s top player.

ERWIN: None of that made sense to me. 

UP — Eighth place (0-5)

JONTY: Are you surprised UP is at the bottom?

ERWIN: No I’m not, because we’re good at everything else already. Every fortress has to have a weak point. That’s from Akira Kurosawa’s Seven Samurai. We’re strong in everything else and we cream everyone in everything else. A great fortress has to have a weak point.

JONTY: Do you remember when UP last won?

ERWIN: I remember UP beat Ateneo recently but I’d be lying if I said I actually cared.

Jiggy: Wait, so Erwin, you don’t like Ateneo?

ERWIN: No, I’m indifferent to Ateneo and La Salle.

JONTY: So who would you root for in an Ateneo-La Salle game?

ERWIN: I wish they’d both lose. Just because wala namang silbi sa lipunan yang rivalry na yan eh. What people from Ateneo and La Salle think is that people outside actually give a f*ck.

Jiggy: Wow.

JONTY: Wala bang rival UP?

ERWIN: In my mind, UP has no rivals; just schools that wish they were UP.

UST — Tied for second place (3-2)

JONTY: UST seems to be doing okay but everyone hates Coach Pido Jarencio. They’ve been good but they aren’t winning. If you were Pido, how’d you handle UST?

ERWIN: Alam mo if UST allowed Liberation Theology, then things would be looking up for them. And to finally name the writing center after Ophelia Dimalanta, then maybe they have a chance this season. I’m sure those are the only things preventing God from giving them a championship again.

JONTY: So God isn’t a growling tiger?

ERWIN: No, he isn’t, because Jesus would love for UST to have Liberation Theology before anything else.

NU — Tied for third (3-3)

Jiggy: NU is doing well now especially with Bobby Ray Parks, Jr. there. What do you think of NU?

JONTY: A lot of people outside of the school want NU to win.

ERWIN: Yeah. I miss NU. I listened to NU a lot. I think it was one of the most important things in our cultural history. And it was really sad when they closed so I’m really happy they turned into a basketball team. They finally found something for Jamir of Slapshock to do.

Adamson — Tied for second place (3-2)

ERWIN: What’s their mascot again?

JONTY: They’re called the Soaring Falcons.

ERWIN: The Sorry Falcons? What are they apologizing for?

Jiggy: No, it’s soaring.

ERWIN: Ah, well, one of my favorite basketball players ever was Hector Calma. Just because of Hector Calma, I’ll go for Adamson.

Jiggy: Erwin, which is better, an eagle or a falcon?

JONTY: For a mascot, we mean.

ERWIN: Do you still have that Blue Babble Battalion or whatever?

Jiggy: Yeah, we do!

ERWIN: So call yourselves that nalang. I don’t really care. Wasn’t Dick Gordon part of that Battalion? He should just be your mascot then.

UE — Tied for third place (3-3)

ERWIN: How’s UE this year?

JONTY: I don’t know.

Jiggy: Yeah, they’re tied for third place.

ERWIN: I’m getting bored.

Ateneo — Seventh place (2-4)

ERWIN: Aren’t you guys losing?

Jiggy: Yeah but Keifer Ravena’s back so we’re hopeful.

ERWIN: Who’s that?

JONTY: He’s called The Phenom, the Kobe Bryant of the Philippines!

ERWIN: When people are talking about the Keifer Ravena of the NBA, I’ll pay attention.

La Salle — SIXth place (2-3)

Jiggy: La Salle’s doing better than us.

JONTY: Yeah, not just in sports.

ERWIN: But really, that Ateneo-La Salle rivalry, who cares? It’s not like the Celtics-Lakers rivalry. While all of you are doing that rivalry, UP graduates are building roads. The only thing that rivalry is doing for the community is promoting the building of more barangay basketball courts.

Jiggy: You’re making Jonty cry.