My grandpa & how he made being human simple & easy
February 27, 2004 | 12:00am
The rain woke me up on Monday morning last week. I could have sworn it was a dream because the rain doesn’t normally fall in February.
My first thought that morning was about my grandfather. If Papa were awake he would have gleefully exclaimed that it was a wonderful shower. Two weeks ago he insisted that it was raining outside when actually the noise he heard was coming from the air-conditioner.
That was vintage Pops – to insist on what he knew as truth, to defy the odds just to get his point across. He had a childlike innocence about him yet he was also very wise. And this is just one of the million reasons why for me Papa is the wisest, most admirable man I have ever known.
I can go on for days, weeks, and years writing about everything there is to know about Papa Ciling but even that would not be enough to describe him as I know him. Pops, as we fondly called him was everyone’s favorite. It didn’t matter who he held closest to his heart because as far as all of us knew we were all his favorites.
As children, when we would sleep over at Papa’s house he would wake us up early in the morning just to go jogging around the Greenhills area. After which, he’d treat us to donuts and hot chocolate. For as long as I can remember Sunday lunches were spent with my grandparents, my loving Papa Ciling and my most beautiful lola, Mama Nena.
I will never forget how eagerly I rushed for an embrace every time he came into the room in his gray jogging pants, sweatshirt and sneakers. Papa’s presence lit up any room he entered. To this day, Papa’s arms are still the most comfortable place I have ever been to. In his arms, I knew no danger, no fear. Enveloped in his warmth I felt no problem was ever too big, and no enemy too fierce for me. I would always wonder how and why Pops seemed to visit me in my most troubled times, unplanned, mind you. And it was in his tenderness and affection that I found comfort.
Yet, no matter how complex or hardheaded Pops was, it was undeniable that his charm was colossal. He was like no other.
Popsy loved to greet me with, "Hi baby or Hi Mayenyen-baby" every time he’d see me. He would flash his widest smile no matter how bad the circumstances and how troubled the times were, you wouldn’t think twice about smiling back. Frowning was never an option. I don’t remember a time that I have left the room without hugging Pops.
I still can remember how Papa danced with me on my 18th birthday. I requested that we danced to the music of What a Wonderful World. Today, every time I hear that song I remember him and the joy I had dancing with him.
Papa Ciling was no man to sit still when he heard good music playing. If he knew and liked the song, he would even hum along, dancing and singing like no one was watching. He even taught my nephew Rafael to tapdance.
On New Year’s eve, Papa dragged me off my chair, pulled me close and danced with me. I was so afraid that he might lose his balance or tire easily that I had to warn him to stop. Being the dancer that he is, Papa asked that we do a few more tries on the dance step he wanted me to learn.
We are almost 40 grandchildren in the clan, and there are seven great grandchildren from the 10 children Papa Ciling and Mama Nena had.
I can say that each one of us has a treasure box of memories of and with Papa to be cherished forever. No matter how big our family is, Papa definitely found his way to the deepest part in our hearts. There is a plethora of memories I have of Papa Ciling. My mom asked me to pick just one and I am still having a difficulty finding just one; there are too many.
Papa truly made every meeting, every touch of the hand, and every smile a memory worth keeping forever.
When he turned 85, I asked him how his birthday was coming along and how he felt… He answered, "For someone who has a family like this, how can one grow old? With an abundance of love, I will remain young at heart." On his 86th birthday, he put wrote on his calendar, "Turned 86, older only."
To Papa, age never mattered. The first time I heard him speak of his growing older was when I visited him that rainy afternoon last week. Papa told me he was no longer young. That he was weak. He pulled out a sheet and wrote: "Quo vadis, Papa Ciling," according to him it meant, "Where are you going, Papa Ciling?"
It frightened me to know that he was asking himself this question. It seemed to early for such a thought.
He was hospitalized again a few weeks after the series of heart attacks he had. By then, he had spent around two weeks at home. This time, he suffered a hemorrhagic stroke. He fell into a coma.
It was traumatic to see Papa on his bed. I wanted to scream "Papa, wake up!" I must have pled a number of times for him to give us a sign, a trickle of hope because we were scraping the bottom of the barrel. Being the proud man Papa was, it pained us to see him like that. We joked that if Papa were conscious, he would have torn away all those tubes which were stuck to his body. I would talk to Papa once in a while, stroke his fine, white hair. His warmth was like little drops of heaven. His warm hand brushing through my cheek was my portal to how he was when he was still active. It transported me back to how gregarious, animated, and full of life Popsy was.
I don’t think I will ever tire of telling the whole world about Papa’s love. It was just so intoxicating, contagious, even addicting. It was impossible not to love a man like him.
As I was going through some of his things, I saw his letters where his thoughts remain immortalized. Papa was the eternal writer. He wrote about anything – random thoughts that occupied his mind. My brother Joseph keeps a note written by Pops which he got just before he had his stroke. On a magazine page he wrote a step-by-step strategy of how Joseph should go about his campaign as councilor. Popsy never stopped thinking of ways to reach out to his children and grandchildren. This is why Papa is my idol (he knows that), he was the brightest and sharpest 86-year-old I have ever known.
He was a great speaker and a prolific writer. His passion lay in educating the needy. The National Greening Movement (NGM) is Papa’s baby. A legacy he left to us, his family, and the world.
In the book Saydoism: Being Human Made Simple and Easy which Papa Ciling authored, he says, "In family relations, the importance of Saydoism may be summed up in these words: You can tell a lot about a man by the happiness of his wife and the respect given him by his children and grandchildren." To Papa who loved his family, regardless of our quirks, I say – Papa, it will be my greatest achievement if I can attain even half of the love, value and respect you have received in you lifetime.
Papa, we will miss you tremendously. Thank you Pops for sharing your life with us. Your memory will forever be engraved in our hearts. You have taught us many things – to live and not just to exist, to love beyond our capabilities. I will always be grateful to and for you. In life’s book of great people, Papa, you belong in the Hall of Fame. The eternal writer, my idol, mentor, and inspiration – thank you. To Papa Ciling who has made us believe in big dreams and in February rains, thank you. Thank you for teaching us to dance long after the music ends. Thank you to the father who taught us to love life. We love you from the bottom of our hearts. It was a good run, Papa – the best.
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