Getting giddy about being a daddy

Don’t overreact to the title, no one’s going to be a father yet. Every time the New
Year comes you can’t help but get emotional or sentimental, maybe because of this notion that you are getting a year older. And the older you get the more you loosen your grasp on youth, but of course that’s a very pessimistic way of looking at things. So scrap the idea. In other words, the more you loosen your grasp on your youth, the more you begin to think about adult stuff.

Guess you can think of outrageous stuff if you’re in the moment of getting giddy n’ all. And one of my outrageous thoughts during the New Year was thinking of fatherhood (perhaps I had too much of Christmas ham).

I know I’m not the only young guy on the threshold of adulthood and who hasn’t thought of this at least once in their lives, but isn’t really vocal about it. Come to think of it, it’s not really a usual topic among friends.

And I ask you guys, have you ever felt your caring nature or parental instincts suddenly popping up once you see an adorable baby pass by. Or did you ever picture yourself being a father figure? Like saying to yourself, "Wish I could have one of my own," and suddenly have this warm fuzzy feeling. But let’s leave the topic about getting a girl pregnant out of wedlock since this is not about that.

I’ve noticed that people my age – those who haven’t gotten any girl pregnant or gotten themselves pregnant – don’t really talk about anything that has something to do with the word parent. Some even flinch at the topic of love, so what more about parenting? Sure we have a friend or two who have become parents themselves at an early age, and we have become instant ninangs and ninongs, much to our horror come Christmas when the inaanak are off to hunt you down for their yuletide treat. We were successfully able to ditch them this season.

Noticed that a lot of guys in my age bracket don’t really have that fatherly or parental instinct yet. Basically, they aren’t really that close to kids and see them as little nemeses – call them "Young Scrooges" in the making – and are allergic to them, so to speak. I’ve encountered a lot of people like that in my teen and tween years, the overall projection of them is that they don’t have a single caring bone in their body, quickly changing the topic when kids come to mind. Sure, some guys might use little kids to their advantage, as one female friend told me, when they suddenly turn all playful with kids in front of girls they like, just to earn some extra "pogi points" to soften up the girls.

It’s a big contrast from my guy friends back in Vienna who can be proclaimed "midwives" themselves. Well, what can you expect, they’re the ones who must do the babysitting since yayas are not common there unlike here, and most of them haven’t even reached their 20s yet. So I had a field day watching the kids get all over them. From changing dirty stuff to feeding them, along with all the slop – the whole package, they have gone messy with them and it seems they’re enjoying it. Their fatherly instincts have already emerged at such a young age. It’s somewhat a rarity to see those kinds of young folks here.

I admit I like kids, but I’m not really ready yet to be a dad and plunge into the world of diapers and all that mess. My friends here, though, can’t believe that I have the capabilities to do that, and show a caring, sunny personality even towards kids (to think that, for my guy friends, I’m the one who is already considered "close" to kids). They would ask me in disbelief, "Luis, malapit ka pala sa bata?" Even if I said yes, they would still gasp in disbelief. They already consider it incredible if I said I could try being a pre-school teacher (not in this lifetime though).

Actually, I have been proclaimed yaya by some of my friends who have become early parents. When the time comes to pay them a visit, I just say a quick "hi" and go straight to the kids, while they chatted with my other friends. So I always end up being a babysitter.

Our neighbor’s toddler (one of the most adorable and sweetest babies I know), along with his real yaya, regularly visit the house to do the things household helps and yayas usually do – engage in endless chit chat. So becoming the surrogate yaya, the lad goes running about the house as if it were his own, letting me endure the baby sitting for a change. With his "babyish twang," he pronounces my name as "Jiji" (taken from my nickname JJ) which was just plain cute, not to mention well-mannered, for someone’s who’s only three years old.

In my case it was a stroke of good luck that I’ve just encountered such angels, so you can’t help but want to have one of your own if you’re surrounded by them. But when you come across not so angelic kids, in other words the bratty and whiny ones, that’s where I draw the line. It does take some time to develop a certain extraordinary patience, that’s why I guess a lot of guys are a bit afraid. They can handle car trouble, can face up to guys bigger than them (I suppose), you name it, but when it comes to crying babies? Now that’s something not all of us are really prepared for.

Sure, there’s more to that than just yearning to have a kid of your own, adding to your wish list of having a kid as adorable as the babies you’ve handled before, and there’s no harm in thinking about it, but actually crossing over that bridge too quickly? It’s easy to play and get along with somebody else’s kids for now, since a lot of us aren’t really that "mature" enough in really having a kid of your own. Not to mention being financially stable isn’t really that easy to achieve in these parts. And there’s the subject of your parents kicking you out of the house and cutting any financial support once you get any girl accidentally pregnant. Well, my mom has made us sign that kind of agreement, sort of.

So for now, I’m rather comfortable handling kids not my own; it’s fun and you forget your anxieties when you’re surrounded by kids. A preschool teacher friend observed how kids today are so different back then during our time. Kids today are smarter, more outgoing, their personality really comes out even at a young age (I dunno if drinking today’s powdered milk can really make your kid gifted) and can really be "smart asses," and I agree, which is why I like them even more.

* * *

E-mail the author at ketsupluis@hotmail.com.