Why Japan can admire the Philippines
MANILA, Philippines - I think it was providential that I sat beside Kumiko Kuroda, wife of former ADB president Hirohiko Kuroda, who is now Central Bank Governor of Japan. Her countenance was happy, peaceful. She seemed so full of joy; her attitude was contagious. I too became even more bubbly that night at Corrie Purisima’s home. The food was delicious: Thai food at its best, delicious bagoong rice, crispy sweet and sour fish, catfish salad with maasim green mango, not a drop of alcohol — and still I was lightheaded and giddy. It must have been the gathering of women that night.
Kumiko’s mission is to help Japanese women. Even in modern times, Japanese women are culturally programmed not to express themselves. They keep all negative emotions to themselves. This was evident after the tsunami incident that hit Japan. I saw a photo of women patiently lining up for their food rations. In the midst of their grief and suffering, they appeared so disciplined, calm and collected.
What is really happening inside though, according to Kumiko, is that these women keep their devastation and pain locked within. Refusing to talk about their loneliness, the extreme loss of family and friends, deprivation, sorrow, they appear strong because that is the Japanese way. An internal explosion happens when negative emotion is bottled up inside. The implosion is manifested in a desire to end all pain. The suicide rate, according to the National Police Agency of Japan, was 27,766 deaths last year. That is the imploring cry of Kumiko to the Japanese: “Let’s freely express our pain, let’s commune, let’s share who we are with each other; in the process, drop by drop, little by little, there will be light and a ray of hope.†The unbearable, she hopes, will become slightly bearable, until they can get to a place of some comfort.
Some Japanese were in so much pain after the tsunami destruction that, as a means of coping, they ceased eating. Starvation is a slow death, and such a horrible way to go. A subtle cry for help can be brushed aside in the midst of turmoil. Dying this way to the Japanese is acceptable even in modern times because of the anonymity and seemingly nonviolent manner of disappearance. Quiet, with no losing of face, just like the disappearing daylight as it blends into the sunset, as light fades into darkness.
The Philippines suffered its own disaster. Many people were totally devastated, losing everything — no home, no food, so many deaths of loved ones. They already had so little and that little world was taken away. With so much loss in their lives, I have seen courage and strength surface from our people. A boy finding his parents and siblings dead and bravely taking care of his younger sisters whom he found clutching to a mango tree after the surge devastated their home. I heard many stories of Filipinos who have gone to Leyte searching for their loved ones. And my helper and coworker whose mom and relatives have not yet been found; yet they remain hopeful, prayerful. They continue to work, toil very hard in their jobs, even faced with the reality that loved ones may be gone.
The Philippines is Kumiko’s place of healing. She moved back to Japan with her husband sometime in March 2013 but as of August this year, she has been back six times. It’s definitely more fun here! She dances her heart away; also she is an artist, a painter (the outfit she wore that night was beautifully decorated by her). And she loves to eat: Filipino food is a favorite! She is in love with our Filipino spirit and who we are as a people. She says when she first lived in the Philippines eight years ago, a Filipina embraced her, then another, then another. She has so many Filipino friends. Friendly, loving, caring, positive: that’s who we are as a race. I think that, since living in the Philippines, Kumiko has become a Filipina herself. She is as creative as we are, expressing herself through the creative arts. She’s light, funny, even crazy-funny. To laugh and play in life — isn’t that truly what we want? I think it takes a lot of courage to have this joyful attitude. Others may sulk, criticize, worry, but not her! She plays, dances, laughs and paints.
Filipino resilience is different from the strength of the Japanese. It is our faith that keeps us strong, hopeful and trusting. We trust in a higher power greater than us, a power that knows best and keeps us hopeful in any situation. When devastating trials come, we know this is temporary and God will provide. That is why we can laugh and smile, despite our pain. While we can learn from the culture of excellence and discipline of the Japanese, we can also take comfort in our own positivity, a hope that brings color and meaning to our lives.
