“Do penance, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand”

These are words of Christ himself as recorded in the gospel reading of Monday after Epiphany Sunday. (cfr. Mt 4,12-17.23-25) Epiphany being Christ’s manifestation as savior not only to the Chosen People but also to all of us, the thing to do after having this Good News is, of course, to go and follow him. But this needs repentance and conversion.

We cannot deny that we all are sinners who need to keep on struggling against our weaknesses, temptations, and sins so we can attain the real identity and dignity God wants us to have, which is that he wants us to be his image and likeness, sharers of his divine life and nature.

We should also realize that given our wounded condition here on earth, repentance is not only a matter of a moment or just a one-time affair. It’s going to be a lifelong concern for us. This should be considered as a fact of life which we should just learn how to handle properly.

And the secret of true repentance is for us to learn to be always with Christ. This is clearly articulated in the first reading of the Mass of Monday after Epiphany Sunday from 1 Jn 3,22-4,6.

“Whatsoever we shall ask, we shall receive of him: because we keep his commandments, and do those things which are pleasing in his sight.” Then it adds: “And this is his commandment, that we should believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ: and love one another, as he hath given commandment unto us.”

If we live by these words of our faith, the consequence is that Christ would abide in us and we in him. This is the ideal condition for our life here on earth as it will be in its definitive and perfect state in heaven.

This is the secret of true repentance. It’s when we slowly and steadily approach that ideal condition when Christ and we become one. Outside of Christ, there’s no other way but for us to fall into sin sooner or later, one way or another.

We should just try our best to learn how to be with Christ all the time, never daring to be simply on our own, relying only on our human and natural powers. For this, aside from studying the life and teachings of Christ, we should see to it that the very Spirit of God in Christ is with us. Thus, we need to be discerning of the spirit that actually is inspiring us.

We would somehow know the kind of spirit we have by the kind of thoughts, desires, and loves we have. If we look more closely at how our consciousness works, what its usual contents are, what we are most aware of, we would have an idea of the kind of spirit we have. All we have to do is to see if our thoughts, desires and loves are those of the fruits of the Spirit or the fruits of the flesh.

This is also true when we examine the kind of dreams we have in our sleep where we are supposed to be unconscious. Our state of unconsciousness is when we disengage ourselves for a while from our bodily mechanisms, but it is in that state where our spirit takes over, so to speak. In a sense, it’s when we are unconscious that the kind of spirit we have can be known.