Paradise: Lost and found

The original title to this piece was supposed to be “Crabs cursing themselves” in reference to the Filipino term “crab mentality,” depicting Filipinos like crabs that pull each other down in an attempt to climb over others to escape from the pot.

For decades, if not half a century, we have believed in the lie that the crab mentality was uniquely Filipino, given that other countries or culture we are familiar with, don’t practice it. The problem with our reference points is that the countries we were historically familiar with such as the United States, Japan, etc. were never conquered, colonized, brainwashed, and enslaved for 300 plus years.

If we actually looked for similar cases, I have been told that South Africa during Dutch colonial rule for instance manifested a cultural behavior where the true natives or the black South Africans shed a lot of blood during so-called tribal wars.

But in reality, they were simply unconsciously directing their anger towards a lesser enemy given they did not stand a chance staging a bloody rebellion against the Dutch and apartheid in the early years.

In the Philippines, the oppression of Pinoys was extended because the Philippine economy for the last 100 years has been controlled by colonial remnants and foreign entities who played Filipinos against each other at work and in politics to this day.

Unfortunately, educators and scientists have not successfully educated Filipinos to redirect the anger, frustration, or desperation towards a more positive and productive view of life. We did have the “bayanihan” and barangay models, but colonial mentality and politics turned them into a joke or another cause for division and control during martial law.

Unfortunately, generation after generation of Filipinos ended up releasing their frustration and anger by talking bad about Filipinos and the Philippines. We started out talking bad about the colonizers, then we bad mouthed the politicians, then we cursed the military and police during martial law, and then we turned on each other through character assassination of Filipinos.

Nowadays, we almost automatically sing with the “Negativity Chorus” when some half-cooked think tank or survey group releases a survey or findings that the Philippines or Filipinos are last in some survey, or that our school, airport, or school children are the “worst” in whatever.

In the days of our grandfathers, the national pastime was sabong, today it is “pinag sasabong” everybody! Even our expressions and aspirations for better times are tainted with frustration or criticism instead of pure desire for good things.

Many Filipinos wrote off the Philippines as “Paradise Lost” and sought greener pastures and their individual Promise Land. Most of us turned to the United States as “The Land of Milk and Honey” beginning from the 50’s to the early 80’s. Some found their “American dream,” others found nightmares. Meanwhile, those who were stuck continued to cultivate the culture of criticism and distaste for the Philippines.

But while in the US, a number of my contemporaries and myself saw the etching on a museum door in Washington DC that read:

“Many migrants soon discovered that they were expected to be more American than Americans.”

From the late 80’s to the 90’s, I have personally experienced and witnessed a shift. Many from my batch who went to the US returned to the Philippines, many of them saying “I went there to pursue my parent’s dreams for migration and citizenship, that was not my dream, and it will never be “my country” and so they returned.

In the 90’s when the US Immigration Bureau started calling out Filipino and Filipina Green Card holders for staying outside the US too long, I knew several individuals who surrendered their Green Cards. While all of that was going on, these individuals had also discovered that for the same amount of efforts, they could have a life in the Philippines.

Perhaps what helped changed their attitude was the discovery that while the dollar was certainly green, “The grass on the other side was not greener.” Exposure to the American work culture and reality also helped them appreciate the imperfections of the Philippines where things could be negotiated, fixed, and provided go arounds. But most of all, the family support system works against all odds.

Today, it is not uncommon to hear Filipinos express disbelief at how things have deteriorated in the US – the Land of Milk and Honey, how peace and order, homeless people and mass shootings have become ordinary events in a so-called first world. Filipinos who used to praise Japan, the Middle East and even China as “better” are now coming home.

Why not, when surveys says we are one of the happiest people in the world, we have one of the top 5 beaches in the world, we are the friendliest or most hospitable according to digital nomads etc., etc., I actually know so many foreigners doing whatever it takes to legally stay in the Philippines because they fell in love with Filipinos and the Philippines!

Yesterday, while leading a men’s discipleship group, I confessed to a dozen men that I have recently, sincerely repented for losing hope for the Philippines, for being part of the Negativity Chorus. By God’s design, the Philippines is our promised land, our place of birth and in truth our “Paradise” whether we choose to be blind to it or not.

I repent and invite others to reflect on how many or most of us have been swept in the mindless thoughtless cursing of the Philippines. Our words have life and by them let us declare that the Philippines is our Paradise! God bless you all.

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