Script fail

The political weapon has been unsheathed: impeachment. Merely whispered in hushed conversations, and denied frequently by functionaries of varying persuasiveness, Rep. France Castro has now openly articulated impeachment as the penalty that should be imposable for the misuse of public funds.

Fresh from her viral moment as official taxonomist of the vice president, Rep. Castro is still fuming about the ?125 million in confidential funds that were excreted in 11 days by the Veep’s office. No mention of the billions that have been included in the budgets of her brothers.

Since more than half of this piddling ?125 million was disallowed by the Commission of Audit, Rep. Castro has posited that the Veep should be punished no less than by impeachment from her office (an office, Sara Duterte Carpio has said she doesn’t care for much, anyhoo).

If the enemies of Sara Carpio were to take this bold move, it would be a huge, consequential step indeed. That would mark the latest skirmish between the ruling families of Duterte and Marcos, and continue the relentless chopping away at her tentacles that we’ve been so privileged to witness the past couple of months (political dismemberment has always been fun).

But that huge step could be a misstep. Filipinos are quick to sympathize with women that are oppressed, bullied, or victimized. There’s nothing like tears from a woman that will soften the quick-to-forgive Filipino. It’s one of the most potent weapons a woman can deploy. Believe me, I’ve seen the most hard-boiled female predators in the corporate and legal world suddenly resort to tears, and voila, the tables have been turned.

For all that we know Sara Carpio to be a tough woman who can get right in the face of senators and congresspersons, this sheriff-punching Veep might just don the robes of victimhood, and the narrative will magically transform. We already see the memes being churned out by her supporters as to how a lonesome brave eagle confronted the crocs in the House of Representatives, and then slew them all (they probably don’t mean that she slayed the runway, seeing as that’s about fashion and all).

Well, Rep. France Castro was not slain. She’s here chirruping “impeachment”, but she better be careful. She might just have been unwittingly given the role of the canary in the mine, warning the Marcos miners whether the air in the impeachment mine is noxious or not. Poor canary, if she suffocates down there, then the Marcos Family will just move on and simply try another strategy.

If she deploys the victim tactic, Sara might start sniffling and sobbing, mangling her English pronunciation and syllabication even worse than Facebook’s new favorite word, “shiminit”. Our hearts will go out to this poor little butch girl, and suddenly, the impeachers will be cast as the villains. Not that they were all saints, to begin with.

What will the revised Marcos strategy be then? The Dutertes have been cut off from China, cheap POGO money, free religious money (Quiboloy), government slush funds (the appropriations and national budget), police prowess (via a reshuffling), and personal bodyguards. What next to dismember? Tick-tock, presidential elections are around the corner!

And how come the Dutertes haven’t unleashed anything to get back at the Marcos Family? What will they think of? Obviously, the drugs narrative hasn’t flown, despite the persistent cheeps and squawks we’ve heard from pater Duterte as to alleged Marcos drug use. In fact, that drug angle has been turned right back at the Dutertes, with suddenly-brave witnesses willing to implicate the Dutertes coming out of the woodwork. I wonder what incentives were given to these people to show their faces.

Come on, Dutertes. We’re tired of seeing a shellacking suffered only by one camp. It’s no fun when one side is being whupped. When are you going to unleash your claws (going along with your eagle-motif appropriation), and start slashing away? More calls for Mindanao separation? Goons, gold and glamor? Or that most potent and insidious weapon of all: children’s books?

It’s much better when both sides are suffering wounds and bleeding heavily. Now that’s a much better movie to watch.