Tonedeaf fuzz

Are you excited about Peach Fuzz, the Pantone color of the year for the forthcoming year that is 2024?

Somehow, that bit of news didn’t exactly overwhelm. It didn’t generate Pavlovian impulses, much less trigger psychedelic seizures. Trying to whip up image associations with Peach Fuzz only resulted in fibrous thoughts of fruit hair. Not very appetizing. Worse, prolonged attempts to visualize some peachy fuzz resulted in images of fine, pubescent hair adorning teen crushes qualifying as nubile sexpots. Let’s move along, shall we?

Viva Magenta was touted as the color for 2023, but that didn’t seem to be too exciting either. Not a lot of magenta was splattered around in the environs. On the other hand, 2022 saw Pantone crowning Very Peri, “a warm and friendly blue hue with a carefree confidence and joyful attitude,” making one almost quip that wearing it should ensure a resulting ‘confidently beautiful with a heart’ vibe.

The critics of this current administration will probably push for Poverty Periwinkle as the color of the year. It will symbolize how, despite the socio-economic hardships the masses experience very day, the numbing traffic the ordinary person endures as he stumbles his way to work, or the escalating prices of basic goods at the grocery, the periwinkle shade will always lift him out of the poverty blues. After all, he might win the lotto tomorrow, right?

Not to be outdone, the matrons will insist on Ivory Idolatry. Never mind the Blue Ladies, that’s history. Now is the time to congregate and celebrate the feminine powers behind the throne, and what better sucking-up color to symbolize it than the almost-virginal but not quite pure off-white. Brides get to wear blinding white, while those who want to cheat choose ivory, all the better to hide possible stains, dearie.

No objections from this corner. We all know elephant tusks are associated with the murder of pachyderms, a fate dictated by the misfortune of being born with precious horns. As their natural adornments are hacked away to feed the avarice of the wealthy, it seems apt to associate the sycophants all too willing to stomach societal abuse just to be seen with (and profit from) their social connections.

At least, with this current administration, we’re not seeing Crimson Splashes no more. Not openly, anyway. No news comes out about victims of extrajudicial killings, typical of the murder onslaught that characterized the regime of Rodrigo Duterte. To that extent, this administration compares favorably with its predecessor. Perhaps, the only murders are those committed slowly, inexorably, by endemic hunger caused by economic ineptitude and kleptocratic greed (think periwinkle thoughts, quick).

Speaking of greed, the oligarchs (oh yes, they’re very much back in the cozy fold) are squabbling about which to choose from: Jaundice Yellow or Greenbacks Galore. The former is all about their attitude towards bettering the lives of their fellow Filipinos, never you mind their Corporate Social Responsibility gobbledygook. Do we really believe they’re cornering contracts and grabbing concessions so that they can serve the poor Filipino (perhaps, it is this columnist that is jaundiced)?

On the other hand, the latter choice is what the oligarchs actually see when they open their eyes every morning, accompanied by the sound of cash registers. Kaching! This hue actually becomes very vivid, especially when the time comes to plunk some dollars into vacation homes in Atherton and Honolulu. As the nation’s foreign currency reserves are sucked and drained to finance their overseas splurges, we could actually be treated to the sight of another skyscraper in Manhattan sporting the Philippine flag. Ah, there’s nothing like catching sight of that flag snapping in the breeze while pounding the pavement in New York, thinking about how to stretch those last few bucks.

But let’s not get lost in maudlin thoughts. Not with intrigue so close to home. Duterte pere et fille are probably still gnashing their teeth at the failure by Congress to allocate them billions for 2024. Thus, their choice of color, which one might have been previously tempted to brand as Gnomish Green, could now be surmised to be Fuming Fuchsia (Google says red is associated with revenge --dare we hazard Scarlet Spite as a possible winner?).

As we reflect on the year that was and extrapolate our future, it is time to welcome the New Year by setting off some fireworks. Oh no. It’s that time of the year when our nostrils are Smudgy Grey.