Reminders re: Christmas parties and class reunions

It is the season of parties and reunions, of homecomings and class meetings. Friends and former classmates who have not met in years or even decades are taking advantage of the Yuletide vacation for a quick reunion and coming together among clans and classes. Thus, it is important that we who are poised to attend these parties and reunions should follow some sort of a code of ethics or a set of protocols of social graces and etiquette. We should all remember that these occasions are intended to build relationships, renew old ties and share stories and insights. These should not be used to show off, to make ''tsismis,'' or splurge and make impressions.

In Christmas parties, the first protocol is coming on time, and not to be late. The traffic cannot be made as a perennial alibi. There is no justification at all for tardiness. To be late is to be inconsiderate to the others who exerted extra efforts to comply with the official schedule. It is also impolite to leave much earlier than the host or the organizing committee. Another breach of social ethics is to ask or even demand for "take home" packages of foods or drinks. But the most inconsiderate sign of lack of breeding is to get too much food from a buffet table and not to be able to consume them all.

In class reunions, it is an indication of lack of social grace to come inappropriately attired. For instance, these affairs are not the proper occasions to over-decorate the female body with too much jewelry and accessories just to show off. Ostentatious display of material successes is not one of the agenda for class reunions. It is also socially improper to make a class or family reunion as the occasion for sowing intrigues or spreading false rumors. It is not proper to make reunions as the venue for comparing economic or professional successes. People should keep their mouths shut on matters that border on privacy and personal domain.

There are absolute prohibitions on topics of conversations that attendees of parties and reunions should always bear in mind. First, one should not ask about being overweight or anything concerning appearances, like "why have you grown too big for your height?" or " why do you look so famished and too thin?" It is also taboo to inquire into highly personal marital status and state of relationships. It breaches social graces when these questions are asked: "You were the perfect pair in our class, why did you break up?" or "Why don't you have any child?" or worse, "Who is your current partner?" It is also coarse to say that "You are not "bagay" as a pair. It is none of one's business.

There are prohibited topics in social functions: Matters concerning break-ups or annulments, legal separations, divorces or broken relationships. Unless the parties concerned open up the topic, we should not even mention these in passing. And if they do open up, we should refrain from making judgmental quips or commentaries. Also, we should not talk about change of religion or anything about politics. We should avoid talking about who got rich and how and who are in tight financial conditions. Parties should focus on convergences and not on divergences. The topics should be those that unite and not matters that divide the attendees.

We should all remember that we attend these activities in order to be feel good and not to go home feeling insulted. Good manners are essential for a really nice and happy Christmas.