Neonatal guidance

Now that gay marriages are becoming more and more commonplace, the next big question is, what happens to their kids. 

See, the couple might decide to have their own baby - and I don't mean adopt.  The way forward for the twosome coosome might be (let's assume a male couple) to contract with a fertile female with child bearing hips to carry their child to term.  And in that case, who are the parents of the child?

You might think, well that's easy.  The sperm donor is the natural father and the woman who agreed to carry the child is the mother.  The other man in the marriage, unfortunately, takes backstage.  He might just be an adoptive father, but that's as far as he can go - or is it?  Unfortunately, things aren't as simple as that. 

What if, for example, the two fathers decide to mix their sperm together before they are let loose upon the donor egg?  And they don't want a DNA test done on the offspring?  You might think this scenario is too bizarre and far-fetched, and would never happen, but it has.  As reported in the New York Times, this was the route taken by a couple named Brad Hoylman and David Sigal. (By the way, Mr. Hoylman is a Senator.)

And what if the mother just lends her womb, but not her egg?  Meaning the couple gets the egg from somewhere else, they have it fertilized, and then they just ask womb mother to allow an implant?  After she carries the egg to term, off the couple goes, and womb mother goes her separate way.  Should womb mother be allowed to get rights vis-a-vis the child?  And what about the egg mother?  Can she come forward later on and claim visitational rights?  What if she waived her rights to be called the mother?

Even the child's rights versus the mothers might raise sticky issues.  In a scenario where the gay couple suddenly dies in a freak accident while skiing in Taho or surfing in Siargao, can the child sue either mother for child support?  After all, without their participation, the child would not have existed in this world.

What if the mothers only agreed to participate in the exercise if they were freed from any sort of parental responsibility?  In fact, they have signed contracts stipulating that in no way are they going to become liable for child support.  Would their expectations and the signed piece of paper protect them in any way?

Of course, we do have to tackle the issue of money.  What about the payments to either mother?  Can the couple buy an egg?  Preferably from a strapping healthy sexy strong boned Amazon of a whiz woman.  Can they pay another woman to rent her womb for nine months?  Monthly lease payments, with each lease payment contingent on her fulfilling certain conditions like milk and vitamin intake and general health condition?

Would treating the womb and the egg just like any other commodity be sanctioned by law?  Or would these sales contracts be void for being against public policy?  Are human eggs considered outside the commerce of man?  We will hear howls about the mere suggestion that eggs can be bought so callously, although that is already being done in some states in America. California allows commercial surrogacy contracts, New York does not.

What if the gay couple stipulated in their contract that any time the mother violated her diet requirements and started smoking or shooting drugs, that they could walk away and they would leave the womb mother where she is (with fetus still inside) and she would forever have the burden of raising the child herself?  Would that be a valid stipulation?

These are the many potential issues that society has to grapple with now that gay marriage is legal elsewhere.  Meanwhile, here in our country, we will have to contend with developments abroad, even if gay marriage is not yet legal here.  What if, for example, the gay couple and the baby pass through this country, and the egg mother who is Filipina files suit to claim custody over the kid?  Would a Filipino court condemn the gay marriage, consider it void, strip the fathers of their paternity, and award the kid to the mother?

Impossible?  Well, stranger things have happened.  Which means now might be a good time to develop a legal framework for these alternative parenting arrangements.  At least, before we get overtaken by events.