1001 alibis

Happy Fiesta to the Patron Saint of Tagbilaran City, Saint Joseph the Worker!

Yes, there is an imminent danger lurking right around the corner but we should to be cowed by forces that are out to take our freedom and our way of life.

Viva, Señor San Jose!

Just like in anything we do, there are people out there who are very big on words but small on deeds. A bicycle ride or a race are no different. Before, they’d claim to do this and do that but when the day comes, they back out. Or in some cases, the earth just swallows them completely.

A friend of mine used to call these people as, “The Book of Alibi” guys and they can give you a tome-full of reasons from their book, and more unbelievable than, “The dog ate my homework”.

Here are a few classic lines I’ve used and heard in the past thirty years.

#87-  The Sickness Alibi. Well, who can argue with this excuse? To completely honest, I have made up this excuse a few times and I really feel bad about it. I was supposed to ride with some friends from Cagayan de Oro to Davao but I chickened out. I made my stuffy nose more worse than it should have. Bum stomach is a common alibi disease.

#213- The Domestic Alibi. The wife is working (on an early Sunday morning!) and the yaya has just disappeared and no one is available for Junior. The laundry is piling up and my wife will not give me a “visa” to ride if I can’t launder them all!

#379- The Traffic Alibi. The culprit posts a photo on FB about the road traffic and calls up the group, who are waiting for him for half an hour and tells them he can’t make it. #trafficwoes

#462 The Lack-of-Training Alibi. The guy has been burning rubber six weeks before the event and had more Strava mileage than anyone yet on race day, will inform everyone that he/she is undertrained.

#556 The “Something-is-wrong-with-my-Bike-Alibi”. I got a flat tire and my patch kit has already expired. Or, I don’t have the right cogset for this hilly race or “I need to lower my seat post but it’s stuck!” Another rare classic is a balding tire.

#619 The Carpentry Alibi. It’s funny how a cyclist can turn out to be a master painter one early morning or somebody who’s an expert in preparing eaves.

#762 The Chauffeur Alibi. I have to drive my “fill in the blank” somewhere. Or this: My brother in law needs to be picked up at the airport. Well, here’s news for you: Its easier for the in-law to take a cab home than for you to wade into the Mandaue-Lapu-Lapu traffic mess.

# 862 The Party Alibi. I have had too much alcohol last night or I didn’t hear the alarm went off. Fortunately, most cyclists don’t drink, they go to bed early and have at least two alarm clocks just in case one misfires.

#999 You can add your own alibi here.