Coming home

I believe that All Souls’ Day is the third best traditions we Filipinos ever have, next to Christmas and New Year. Since then, the newer generation have tried to stay away from the event, or in most cases, visit a day or two early or after. When I was growing up, there was never a sense of hurry when visiting those who have left before us. We stayed late in the evening when only the candles lighted the cemetery. It’s probably one of the most beautiful scene you’ll ever see in a cemetery at any time.

In some families, they chose to stay overnight, bring food blanket, guitars to have a good time. Yes, it was a time for celebration. In fact, it was a time for family, a time for neighbors and friends who we rarely see and who has experienced the loss of a loved one that we, as a people, have commonly experienced. Someone once said that life is not measured in years, but in the experience and the intensity of those experiences, and that defines our lives.

The diaspora of Filipinos today is so widespread and the ties they have left behind have started to unravel. I still don’t understand why some people don’t find time to pay their respects to their loved ones when they  are still up and about, yet they find time for tears when they are long gone.

Is your job really that important that you can’t get off it for a   few days? Are airfares and bus fares and boat fares really that expensive? Is that how we measure our lives– that we are so occupied by our work and our finances that we don’t have the time to say, “Hi!”, loved ones?

The past three weeks, I knew of about ten friends, including friends of friends, who have passed away. It’s the first time that I’ve experience losing so many in so short a time. We always like to say that life is short but it’s not that short until it is cut short.

For me, life comes in three cycles. The first cycle is when you’re still in school and young and you couldn't wait to get your shot at changing the world. Life at this cycle is so slow. The second cycle is when you now have a job or a business or when you are starting a family. This part is so fast that the next that you wake up, your kids now have families. Suddenly, you're feeling of invincibility gets shattered. The final cycle is when you have retired from your job, and you now have all the time in the world. At this point, you’re world starts to grind to a halt.

The irony of this part is that you wish your kids and grandkids would drop by. But they can’t, they're too busy living their lives. Remember when you were their age?

So please, let’s stop this cycle, come home and visit your loved ones under the earth and those that are still above it, when they still can.