FOBO

My dad gave me a lot of shopping tips while I was growing up. Life skills, really. The top two were the following: One – if you were at home and needed to find something for a particular event, make the rounds over the usual shops and pick the best one for the best bargain. Sleep on it if you have to and come back the next day. Two – in case you are in a place where you know you will not be returning and you have the budget, buy the item on the spot. Those two maxims have served me well in shopping and sometimes in life

Many times, one major thing to consider about making choices is projecting the possibility of the opportunity repeating itself. A third shopping maxim that I picked up through experience is after having bought one item, I shouldn’t look at the prices of similar items to compare whether or not I got a deal. Once done, I stick with my choice.

There’s been a lot of acronyms going around lately. A couple of years ago, there was YOLO – You only live once. Then there was FOMO – Fear of missing out. A few days ago, I came across something that was new to me: FOBO – Fear of better options. The idea is that sometimes a person can refuse to make a commitment to one particular thing now because she fears that somewhere down the road a better option will come and make her regret her decision. It’s like the whole shopping thing, only that it’s about life choices.

I’ve worked with adolescents for more than 17 years and I’ve seen how making choices becomes harder and harder for each generation. I think it’s in large part due to social media. On one hand, their worldviews have expanded and opened their minds to all the wonderful possibilities. On the other hand, having too many choices can increase the fear of making the wrong one.

The stakes are higher when one is constantly bombarded with everyone’s successes and there’s the pressure to project that same success to others. Although we sometimes rail at having too few choices in life, we also recognize that it can be so much easier to make a choice with two options rather than with five.

But something I’ve learned in the course of adulting is that I can never make choices in hindsight. Even if I have enough foresight to predict the possible outcomes of my choices, the only way to test my hypothesis is to jump in and take the plunge. I can plan, study, and predict the outcome of my choices but there’s no way to be 100 percent accurate on all of them.

There are choices that are not life-altering and so it can be easy to change once I realize it’s not what I wanted. But with some choices, there’s just no going back. There’s only acceptance and perseverance to live through the consequences of my choices, positive or negative.

But to not make a choice because of the fear of making a choice is in itself a choice. It is the choice of letting the world decide for me. It is the choice of opting out of the world. It is the choice of letting others dictate my life. That’s like going to a mall and allowing somebody who doesn’t know me pick the size, color, and style of an outfit I’ll be wearing for the rest of my life. While that takes all heavy responsibility in shopping, it takes out all the fun too.

Life is too short not to grab every opportunity we can to have fun. Even if it can sometimes mean being scared.