Death is not something I particularly like thinking about. I don’t like horror movies. I stay clear of the commercial celebration of Halloween. And although I make my visits to cemeteries, there is an inner disquiet that I have to deal with. When I was much younger, I used be afraid of death. There were nights when I would keep myself awake imagining what it would be like if the people I loved died.
As I’ve grown older, however, I’ve had to face the reality of death more often. There was a time when I would wait up for my parents who had to visit a wake of a family friend or relative. These days, I find myself driving to attend wakes of people I know or loved ones of people I know. In the Mass, when the priest remembers the dead, I’ve stopped naming all my beloved dead and just pray for them collectively because it takes so long to name them all.
Death no longer casts a huge shadow over me. In fact, I find myself no longer fearing death (the suffering that leads to death is another matter altogether). But more and more, as I embrace my faith, I come to accept that death is necessary.
Understanding that there is an end to this life puts things in perspective. When I am going through difficulties, I find comfort in knowing that suffering too has an end. When I am going through sickness, I find hope thinking that all pain is temporary. When someone I love dies, I hold on to the thought that there is an afterlife where we can finally see the face of God and each other.
And on the other side of the coin, it is also important to remember that sin has a consequence and the consequences are real and far-reaching. This makes the victory of the cross so much more valuable.
I wonder sometimes how I would see death if I didn’t view it through my Catholic faith for which I am eternally grateful. How strange it must be to dedicate two precious days out of 365 to think about the dead and those who conquered it. There is a reason we celebrate all Saints Day before we celebrate All Souls Day. It reminds us that what we hope for is greater than what we need to endure. That the dream of heaven is more powerful than the fear of death.