Problems at School

Many kids love school and can’t wait to get there every school day. And yet they have days when they don’t want to go to school. There are also kids that feel like they don’t want to go any day.

If you feel like this then you probably need to work out what is your problem and think of some tips ways to deal with it.

What is your problem with school? Work it out then talk about it with mom and dad, the teacher, the guidance counselor and the principal, if you like. They will help you.

If you’re not sure, keep a diary for a week, write down the good things and the bad things that happen at school each day, when you feel good and when you don’t, then talk about your feelings with your parents.

If someone is bullying you, remember that you don’t have to put up with bullying. You have the right to feel safe. And there is always help available to you – whether your parents or your teachers.

If work is too hard or too easy, tell mom and your teacher. They can work out a program with you, get extra help if needed and practice with you until you are more confident, or give you more interesting things to do.

Give yourself a good start:

Get homework organized. Make yourself a homework chart. Ask mom or dad to check your work when you finish.  Ask them questions, ask for some help, let them read your school notes. But it’s not a good idea for them to do your homework for you, as you have to be able to do it for yourself at school. It’s a great feeling when you hand in your homework on time in class, and know that you did your best.

Be on time for school. Coming to a class that has already started is embarrassing. You have to rush about, you don’t know what is happening and no one has time for a friendly word.

Get organized the night before. Pack your bag (with homework done), check what books you need, put in sports clothes or equipment, school notes and your lunch. Get your clothes ready to dive into the next day and have a shower or wash at night if you are a ‘snail’ in the mornings.

Arrange to go to school with a friend. Maybe mum could take you and your friend sometimes and the friend’s mom at other times. If you live near school you and your friend could walk together. You will have someone to talk to and a happy way to start your day.

Don’t give yourself a hard time. It’s so easy to say to yourself, “I’m no good at this” and “I can’t do that.” Instead, think about all the things you can do and do very well.

Try to do your best. Ask for help if you don’t understand and learn as much as possible – even if it is something you are not interested in. You never know what will be useful later on.

Make friends with other kids. You can have friends in other classes as well as among your classmates. You might have a younger friend whom you can help in school or in the playground.

Keep busy. Look around to see what school clubs, activities and teams you might join. Practice some of the skills you will need before you join, then you’ll feel more confident. Maybe someone older in your family may help you practice.

If you worry about mom and find it hard to leave her, maybe you could arrange to phone home at recess or lunch so that you can speak to her. (You may need permission from your teacher to use your mobile phone.) Maybe mom could come and help out at school – example, in the library or helping in your class, until you feel better about leaving her at home.

If you are worried that something will go wrong when you aren’t there, tell mom or dad or an aunt or uncle or another adult how you are feeling. You might be worried about something that is never going to happen and nobody makes you feel better because you haven’t told anybody. Even if things are going wrong at home, talking about it will mean that people understand and can work out the best ways to help you to feel better when you are worried or scared.

If you are going to be away from school for a long time, for whatever reason, ask your teacher for some work to do while you are away. The reason may be a sickness that keeps homebound or an important trip to some relatives in other places. Perhaps the teacher will ask you to keep a diary or scrapbook of your trip or talk to the class about it when you come back. If you are sick for a long time, you can exchange letters, e-mails and phone calls with your classmates or particular friends so that you still feel part of the school. (www.cyh.com)

Bullying at School

Remember that old schoolyard jingle, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”? That was not and certainly is not the truth today. Many children say they have been bullied or teased.

Bullying and teasing are similar, but one of the key differences between them is intention. Teasing becomes bullying when it is a repetitive behavior with the conscious intention to harm or hurt another child. Bullying is one of the largest problems in schools; it can make the victim kids feel hurt, scared, lonely, embarrassed, and sad.

Bullying at school often results in kids being fearful of and unwilling to attend school. Bullying victims may use the following tips in dealing with school bullies:

Tell your parent(s) about the bullying. If you are being bullied, it’s very important to tell an adult first and foremost.

Tell your parents the entire story. Parents are there to help, and they want to know what is going on with you. Your parents, moreover, may then be able to get in touch with the staff at school in order to try to stop the bullying. This is important particularly if you don’t feel comfortable telling your teacher or fear retribution from the bully.

It’s useful if you keep a diary of everything that happens. That way you can let your parents and other adults know about specific incidents.

Report bullying incidents to the school officials. Inform teachers, principals, and other school staff. These individuals have the power to intervene and help stop the bullying. Sometimes bullies stop as soon as a teacher finds out because they’re afraid they’ll get in trouble.

Teachers are especially important resources if you’re being bullied. They can provide you protection from bullying by letting you stay in the classroom during recess or by setting up a buddy system on your behalf.

It’s important to let your school know about any bullying incidents because there may be other kids being bullied by the same person.

Talk openly about bullying. Just talking to someone about your experience can bring you a bit of relief. Good people to talk to include a guidance counselor, sibling, or friend. They may offer some helpful solutions, but should not be approached in lieu of telling your parents or school personnel. Just talking about what you’re experiencing and feeling can help you feel less alone.

Don’t be afraid to speak up. Bullying is not a small or trivial matter; it is wrong and it helps if everyone who gets bullied or witnesses someone else being bullied speaks up.

Remember that you cannot tackle bullying by yourself. No one can, sometimes not even adults. Getting help is the right thing to do when dealing with abuse, bullying, harassment, or assault. (www.wikihow.com)

How to Conduct Yourself with the School Bully

1. Avoid the bully wherever possible. Don’t give him or her a chance to bully you by preventing run-ins between the two of you. Think ahead about where you usually run into the bully, and avoid those places. Try taking a different route from your home to school and also different routes within the school itself.

But don’t skip classes or go into hiding. You have a right to be at school and benefit from education.

2. Feel good about who you are. Ask yourself what makes you feel and look your best. Emphasize your strengths, talents, and goals. For example, do you want to be more fit? If so, maybe you decide to spend less time on the couch watching TV and more time exercising.

Feeling good about yourself will make you feel more confident and help build your self-esteem. It will also help you be more self-assured at school and perhaps less fearful of running into the person bullying you.

Spend time with friends who have a positive influence. Playing sports or participating in clubs are good activities to help build positive friendships and confidence.

3. Stand tall and keep your composure. Sometimes just acting brave is enough to stop a bully from approaching and intimidating you. By standing tall and holding your head high, you send the message that you are not to be messed with.

Acting and even feeling brave is easier when you feel confident and good about yourself. It is also something you can practice. Practice walking with your head up, looking at people, and greeting anyone you know who looks back at you. Practice using a strong and assertive tone of voice (and not shouting). Remember, practice makes perfect. 

4. Use the buddy-system. If you’re trying to avoid being bullied, two people are stronger than one. For example, walk with a friend or a group of friends to school, or hang out with them at recess. In other words, make sure to have friends surrounding you wherever and whenever you think you might run in to the bully.

If you have a buddy, remember to be a buddy. Offer to be there for a friend if you know he or she has bully trouble. Act if you see a friend being bullied; after all, you know how hard it is to be bullied. Tell an adult, stand with your friend being bullied, and tell the bully to stop. Support those you see being hurt with words of kindness.

5. Ignore the bully if they say or do something to you. As much as you can, try to ignore the bully’s threats. Pretend you can’t hear them and try to leave the situation immediately and go to a safe place.

Bullies are always looking for a reaction to their teasing. Pretending that you don’t notice or care (even if you do care on the inside) may stop a bully’s behavior because they are not getting the reaction they expect and want. (www.wikihow.com)