CEBU, Philippines - It’s the season of parties. On average, a person probably has three Christmas parties to attend. Okay, the boys and girls who work at a shop in the mall may only have their company Christmas party on the list. But the fellas who are in the habit of socializing or those who need to socialize for one reason or another may even have a dozen gatherings to go to this season.
There are people for whom attending social events like parties is a year-round routine. And these people would have already experienced an instance where they were just ignored by everyone, like they were not even there. Ouch! It’s easy to imagine how it feels.
It’s human nature to want to matter, to be noticed. Why would one go to a party in the first place? Yeah, some may say it’s mandatory in their line of job; others claim they just couldn’t decline the invitation. If so, all the more they have to establish their presence in the affair – in the proper way, please.
Paul Evans, in an article at www.realmerealstyle.com, observes that some people try too hard. He cites as example the guy “wearing fedora at an indoor networking event and the guy wearing sunglasses in a nightclub… at night. Evans warns: “Don’t be that guy.”
True, some people take it too far. They try too hard to be noticed. Well, oftentimes they get noticed, all right – but in a bad way. Now, for sure that’s not the way they want it.
For standing out in the crowd, Evans shares good advice:
Dress according to your message.
Before choosing what to wear for the day, think: “What message do I want to send across?” That message paves the way for what you require in terms of fabric, function and fit.
If your goal is to make people believe you’re a force to be reckoned with, you need clothing that shows it. You need an outfit that represents the best version of yourself. It should stand out and exude power. For every item of clothing you need to ask: “Does it fit my body? Does it fit my personality? Have I practiced wearing it?”
Your choice of outfit shall allow you to feel you are ready for the world. And the brain channels that positive feeling into a better performance and a boost in your self-confidence. That’s why custom clothing matters. It’s how you can get clothes that perfectly fit and complement you.
Take a twist on classic shoes.
A guy who’s got the best shoes will edge out the all the other guys in the room. He’ll “stand out” for having great attention to detail and looking good from head to toe.
If you can figure out a way to “twist” your shoe style so it works better with your outfit – you’ll amp up your style even more.
Make “casual” look amazing.
Going casual doesn’t have to mean being on the same level as everyone else. You want to be creative with your outfit for those parties or events that don’t have strict dress codes. Try to be different – in an appropriately stylish way. Think color combination, vest, jacket, necktie, accessories etc.
Have good manners.
A guy who behaves like a gentleman will always look sharper and classier than one who doesn’t. If you were taught as a child to say “please,” “thank you” and “excuse me” – everyone in town was most likely taught the same. So act like the kind of grownup person that you and your peers were raised to be.
This also means observing proper etiquette. You need to understand local customs and rules of conduct wherever you go.
For example – say, you’re invited to a dinner where there’s a finger bowl provided before the dessert course. The right way to use a finger bowl is by dipping your fingertips in it one hand at a time. Then you bring each hand down to the napkin on your lap for wiping. However, when you’re the one hosting, if you’re guest unknowingly drinks from the finger bowl – you should too so as not to embarrass him.
Use your eyes and ears.
Think about it: you’ve been given a pair of eyes, a pair of ears and just one mouth. That probably means you should be listening and observing way more than you should be talking.
So it helps whenever you mingle to keep those senses active. Try not to carry the entire conversation or think too much about what to say next. Instead you should pay attention to the other person. Ask them follow-up questions or give nice comments about them.
When you meet someone for the first time – be sure you hear them say their name and repeat it afterwards. Not only will it help you remember the name but it’s also a basic way of showing respect. It’ll make you come across as more cool and likable.
Give off a positive vibe.
If you want to impress people the whole time you’re around – lighten up the mood! You don’t need to be the one having the brightest or flashiest outfit in the room. All you need is to be happy… and happiness is contagious.
If you manage to be the one smiling, dishing out jokes and making everybody laugh – you become the life of the party. You give them a reason to live in the moment and enjoy themselves.
Say no so you can say yes.
This time it’s about not being too nice. You’ve got to learn to respond firmly with a no. That’s how you will get to say a big yes – “Oh yes!” – to anything.
We have to set a limit to how much we can do on a given day. We can’t juggle everything – and there’s no shame in that. But we tend to have difficulty rejecting requests because we value our relationships. Or we initially think we can handle them and they’re worth our time. But that’s how stuff begins piling up.
You’ll realize that more good than bad comes out of saying no more often. You can spend more time and energy on your priorities. “Oh yes!” will be the magic words for things that matter – your work, your passions and loved ones. And when you say yes, when somebody trusts you to do something, do as you’ve promised.
Paul Evans’ ideas are sure to make any man – or woman – stand out from the rest. Most people choose only to be good either on the outside or in the inside, either outward looks or inner character. The surest way is to choose both. (FREEMAN)