The Battle Within

CEBU, Philippines – You want to punch the wall so hard, scream at the top of your lungs, throw everything you lay your hands on, shattering it to pieces; and slam the door to make a deafening banging sound.

Why? Because you are angry, and that’s how most of us release the tension we feel inside. You are waging a battle within you. Let’s take it, we all get angry at one time or another. But the question is, why do we get angry?

Is it because like George, we have an immediate family member in the hospital who is sick or dying that, somehow, we become frustrated and start blaming others for the situation?

Or it is because like Mary, we have friends or loved ones, whom we don’t want to go and leave us? Or like Carl, we have misplaced or lost a very valuable thing and get angry with ourselves and with all the people around us?

There are actually a lot of reasons to make us angry. Whatever the reasons, the outburst all boils down to one thing.

Anger is simply a fear of losing, or a feeling of emptiness and loneliness. Most of us get angry when we’re confronted with these situations. It is like having a battle with ourselves that only we can resolve.

We get angry because we get very much attached to physical and material things. It is as if our peace and happiness depends on them.

In my own experience, more than 50 percent of my anger results from fear, while 80 percent of my fear comes from fear of losing something, of losing a loved one, a relationship, possessions, a position of authority and power, comfort, time, face, and personality or physical looks.

Time is very precious in our lives, and we should not waste it. I think when we get angry, what we are really losing, if not wasting, is not time or even possessions – but opportunity, our opportunity to have a peaceful and happy life. This is why we should know how to face that battle within us.

Thus, instead of wasting our energy and time, we should change our own perspective because changing one’s perspective in life can help us create peace and happiness, in us and around us.

Moreover, instead of shouting at our house helps, cooks, yayas or nannies, drivers, security   guards, or waiters when we are angry, we should always remind ourselves that like us, they are spiritual beings as well. In exchange for their services, all they expect from us and the least we could do for them is to understand and respect them if not as spiritual beings, as human beings at least.

Right now, these people are in certain positions because they have roles to play in this life. Maybe in the next, they will be in our positions, and we will be in theirs. Who knows, one day, we may trade places with them, like in a Cinderella story?

Remember the golden rule? Do unto others what you want others to do unto you. Respect and understand others if you want to be respected and understood. That is the basic principle of karma.

We are like George, Mary and Carl. We get angry partly because we are afraid to lose something. Just remember all the things that I have said so that the next time you get angry, you wouldn’t hurt yourself and others by punching the wall and shouting at people.

Getting angry is normal, but it is controllable. As much as possible, control it; otherwise you may just lose the very thing you are afraid of losing.