Lie Back, Relax, Daydream

Unnoticed stress can be dangerous, more dangerous than one that is easily detectable. It can result in a more debilitating burnout because we don't sense it until it gets so bad. The sudden burst of symptoms can overwhelm us, because we have not seen it coming to understand what is causing it - and worse, it can negatively affect our relationship with the ones we love.

It takes a firm decision for all work-obsessed people to do what they need to do every once in a while - slow down, do less. This is true, in fact, for all of us, because we're all engaged in the work of the world, juggling roles as partners, parents, children, friends, colleagues, teachers, fighters and soothers. And these we do, often all at the same time. The task of living is endless, and draining.

We, therefore, need to develop the habit of regularly recharging and renewing our essential reserves - to get out of our jobs and careers, and into our lives. And there's no better time to start doing it than now, while we're thinking about it. There's a simple exercise that many people have found very effective in priming their own efforts at slowing down. Try it yourself:

Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, centering your attention on the movement of our stomach as you inhale and exhale. In a while, a feeling of calm will sweep through you, as if momentarily taking away your burdens, physical, mental, emotional.

While you're in a relaxed state, with eyes still closed, shift the focus of your attention to a specific spot on your forehead, slightly above the point where your eyebrows meet. As you begin to feel a certain sensation in that area, picture yourself exactly where you are. See your whole body first. Then, widen the scene to include the whole room, and wider until you see the whole building, and wider still until you see the surrounding buildings.  

Your mental picture can be expanded further to include the whole block, the whole city, or the whole planet. Finally, ponder on the question: "If the world is to end right now, where would you want to be?" This exercise is known to bring a special feeling of relief and a better perspective of life.

Our sense of competition always compels us to test our limits. A little pressure is good, it can expand our abilities. But the endeavor should not totally blind us, and drag us to a point of breakdown. We should not push ourselves beyond our endurance.

We all need to step outside every once in a while, to smell the air or listen to the birds. This we need as much as we need our jobs. We need to spend time in a loved one's company, even if no words are spoken. Nothing warms the heart and soul in quite the same way.

There may be a beach or river somewhere close by. A dip in the water washes away the stress of the day. Or there may be a farm where to have a glorious view of the flowering crops or bathe in the sweet, fresh fragrance that comes from the newly cut plants after the harvest. It's a healing experience.

We need a time to be alone. So let's be discriminate about invitations: refuse if we have to, and not make one if we don't need to. We normally would want to attend every single affair we're called to and feel obligated to invite some friends to a gathering at home. It's okay to do these, so long as they don't get in the way of our obligation to ourselves - to lie back, relax, daydream.

The fear on a beloved's face that vanishes in our embrace is a great validation of the power we hold for others, much better than slave-driving a subordinate in the office. It's the same power we can tap to mend our own troubles. We must learn to let go, at least a little, of our involvement in the rat race of the world. In giving ourselves some sanctuary, some respite every day, we'll be able to uphold our humanity and better enjoy rather than endure life.

In the words of Hilary Clinton: "Don't confuse having a career with having a life. They are not the same." And as we need both, we must maintain a good sense of balance. When we slow down and make the time to replenish our reserves, we find new energy to reach out in ways large and small, to really experience the world, to enrich lives - ours and others'.