Why be afraid of solitude?

The modern man has become so used to hectic activity that he accepts it as a natural condition. He no longer seeks opportunities for thinking on his own, alone and undisturbed. Today’s homes and offices, especially those in cities, hardly allow a single moment for quiet reflection.

Everywhere, there’s rarely a place fit for pensive time. The murmur of appliances is always there at home or office: washing machine, air conditioner, photocopier, vacuum cleaner, coffee maker, music player, food processor, hair dryer etc. Outside, the streets roar with the sound of overcrowding cars. Even the outdoors is not exempt. It’s hard to find a beach nowadays that is not noisy with all the motorized water-sports equipment. And there’s always the sound of aircrafts flying overhead.

People have come to regard thoughtful solitude as unnatural. The indispensability of the various noises of the world has become a valid excuse. It is now natural to divert oneself from one’s own company.

Everyone tries to avoid the discomfort of being confronted with their own core issues. Basic institutions support this escapist attitude. It alarms today’s parents to see their boy by the window gazing at the sky. The kid is hurriedly sent down the street to be with other children. At school, children are bombarded with so much activity. A child who sits alone in the garden while the other kids are at play is quickly deemed to have a problem.

Solitude is even viewed as dangerous at times, something that can possibly make a child antisocial. Hence, the child is prodded to meaningless activity that contributes nothing whatsoever to his inner development as a person. In effect, we raise highly successful professionals whose personal lives are in shambles.

It is true that man has a gregarious nature. We find pleasure in each other’s company. But in company the measure of a man’s worth is how much he can give to the group. He who brings certain sensibility to an otherwise dreary gathering is always a sought-after guest. And that person is often one who has studied and learned enough of himself to be more than just a duplicate of others.

Why be afraid of solitude? Solitude is not loneliness, not even being alone in the essential sense. It is not a period of inactivity either. Solitude is a time of a most intimate togetherness – with oneself. It is a time for profound thinking, when one is absorbed deeply in so much activity – thinking about oneself, about one’s own meaning.

It is important that we find time for solitude. An ideal place would be in some unspoiled outdoors. The humming of the wind, the sound of the tree leaves ruffling and the chirping of the birds are relaxing, and help keep us in touch with our inner senses. In spite of the widespread environmental degradation, there are still relatively secluded spots fit for letting the mind to peacefully wander. In a local park, for instance, there may be a rock by a pond or a bench by a fountain to sit on for meditation. The sound of the water can shut off the ambient noise.

Actually, solitude can be attained in the mind practically wherever one may be. With a little practice, it is possible to be mentally alone even when in a crowd.  Moreover, contrary to popular belief, deeper levels of thought are not only attained at moments when our eyebrows fold in deep concentration. Oftentimes, great illumination comes when we just allow our mind to be free, when we feel most comfortable and relaxed. 

The greatest men and women of all times, past and present, have used periods of quiet contemplation to call forth big thoughts. They are the thinkers whose great ideas give birth to incredible human feats. There is no human achievement, big or small, that did not originate from a single thought. 

Sometimes, we have to close our eyes in order to really see, to shut off our ears in order to hear better, to go alone to be in good company. This is what solitude is about. It is not something bad to avoid, but rather an opportunity to be sought.

Solitude is not something strange to us either. We live solitary lives, even in the company of loving family and friends; the experience of life is exclusively personal and unique to each of us. The same things that excite others may depress us, and vice versa.

Our individual experience of life – birth, death and everything in between – is all uniquely our own. Life is essentially a solitary journey.