It’s been said that a good neighbor is better than a faraway blood relative. True. Whom do we usually ask to keep eye on the house while we’re away on an important trip? Or who often receives, in our behalf, the utility bills and other important deliveries that come at home while we’re away at work? And a good neighbor is the angel we call on for help in an emergency.
But it seems neighbors are going out of style nowadays, especially in our city. The friends next door from whom the family used to borrow eggs or a ladder has moved out, and the new occupants in there now are strangers.
Their teenage daughter busies herself with her mobile phone all day, without even time to say “hi” to anyone around. The son blasts their stereo system, getting the neighborhood dogs all scared and barking. The parents themselves are a mystery; they are hardly seen by anyone and no one knows what they do for a living.
Our relationships with our neighbors are changing and many of the old folklores on neighborliness have now grown impractical. The Biblical commandment to “Love thy neighbor” is becoming more and more impossible to follow. Maybe it should have been simply “Respect your neighbor,” but even that is now hard to do. How do you get yourself to respect people you don’t even know?
Perhaps only about half the people in the city’s population centers today live in the same house they lived in five years ago. Just because people happened to wander into your area of residence and found the place next door to yours is probably too light a reason for you to love, even like, them. Some dangerous criminals these days have the looks of religious ministers.
The only thing neighbors have in common to begin with is proximity, and unless something more develops, that isn’t reason enough to be best friends. It sometimes happens naturally, yes, but it doesn’t necessarily follow that your neighbors are your first choice for buddies. Or that you are theirs, either.
The best relationship for city neighbors is one of friendly distance. You may say hello, you small-talk if you see them in the yard, you discuss problems as they arise and you help each other in an emergency. More than that is giving yourself away.
I lost two friendly neighbors over two thousand pesos. The couple owned the small eatery where I used to take my meals. One afternoon, as I was going to take my early supper, the wife was teary-eyed. Out of curiosity I asked what the matter was.
The lineman from the power company was coming to cut off their electrical connection. Their outstanding balance was four thousand pesos, and they only had half the amount to spare – or else they would have no money left for next day’s purchases. The “turco” they usually borrow money from was coming the following day yet.
If only someone would lend them the lacking amount, they would pay back with 20 percent interest after three days, the wife said. These were the people who feed me every day, I thought, I’d be too uncaring if I didn’t try to help.
I covered my food, excused myself, and ran home to get the money I’d slipped in a book. The wife wept when I handed her the money. The husband swore to pay it back in three days or sooner. I declined their offer to pay interest, telling them I was not going to need the money within that time anyway.
The story ends there. The paying time has long lapsed. My money has not been returned. And, worse, the couple no longer talks to me. I have not even been coming to their eatery for over a year now.
I should have taken heed of the folk wisdom: “Never lend your neighbors money. You are most likely to lose both.” It couldn’t be more true with city neighbors. While it may not be so for all, the risk is always much higher with neighbors you don’t know very well.