Funny Feng Shui

Real-life feng shui practice is so filled with drama and comedy! Here are the funny sides of my feng shui experience, to learn and laugh from:

Grocery feng shui.

Master, is the Bamboo outside the store okay?

Master: OMG, it should be the real bamboo plant not Bamboo the rock star's cintraboard lifesized standee!

Altar feng shui.

Look, Master, I have put "goya" as you mentioned over the radio!

Master: OMG, it should be "goya," the figurine of a carabao kid, not the chocolates! No wonder even your icons are full of ants!

Erap feng shui.

Erap:     Master, is it true that my ears can give me long life, over hundred years?

Master: Yes, buddha earlobes mean good karma, long life!

Erap:     But I told my previous master, I want only 99 years, no more.

Master: Why is that sir?

Erap:      I didn't want to be called the man with two century eggs!

Lucky color feng shui.

Master is the color of our living room lucky na?

Master: Oh no! I prescribed avocado green, how come this is wine maroon?

Owner: Oh my! I thought avocado, I even asked the painter to copy the color of the avocado skin!

Fishy feng shui.

As Master entered Starbucks to deliver live arowana fish to grandma client waiting.

Client: (exclaims loudly) Master, you are here! Did you bring my mariwana?!

Shaky-Marriage feng shui.

Master, caught him five times already philandering. What should I do?

Master: Change husband.

Suddenly client embraced and kissed master.

Client (exclaiming): Yehey!

Dramatic feng shui.

Master: Maam, why do you put your husband portrait here above the toilet seat area? It's bad; you will flush him away from the house!

Suddenly, crying daughter enters with more albums and pictures of the dad.

Daughter: Mom, let's add all of these to be sure!

Mother: Master, I found out he has a mistress in Cebu!

Funniest feng shui advice ever:

Take time to laugh, look at the mirror!

Happy fun shui summer everyone! Cheers!