Handling a Child's Fears

No young child ever knows what monsters and ghosts are, unless you - parents and other adults - begin to introduce these evils to the little one as a "scaring" method, which is often resorted to in order to get the child to listen or to obey orders. Personally, I think this 100% wrong.

Young children are yet to discover how the world works and will believe anything and everything they are told. They cannot tell the difference between fact and fiction. When scary ideas are put into the child's head, the little one will grow up with what he has been fed with.

 Understanding the child's fear by listening and explaining - and by sticking ONLY to facts - works better for the child. It's better to tell the child, "Please don't go there, its dark; you can't see and might stumble and hurt yourself," and NOT "Oh no, don't go there; its dark and there is a monster who might eat you!"

Talking to the child will help the little one feel more comfortable about sharing his fears. Parents shall ask and answer questions. To make the child feel that his parents are concerned about what he thinks and how he feels.

Every child has fears, but never point out or relate one fear to the next. Teasing your little one about his fears is also a very good idea, for the child may eventually stop sharing details to you due to embarrassment. Then this will lead to anxiety and low self-esteem in the child. Explain instead that having fears is completely normal, and that it's just a matter of dealing with them.

When a child is afraid of something or someone, it is better to ask what makes that something or someone fearful to him. Sometimes, children can sense things better than adults because their survival instincts are still unrepressed. So it is best for parents to always listen and not simply brush aside their children's revelations.

But if the child is still afraid and doesn't seem to overcome his fear despite the parent's efforts to explain to and comfort him, it may be necessary to give the matter some time to settle down, and not push it forcefully. The right time will come eventually.

It might also be a good idea to keep things in check at the child's environment. Avoiding "scary" shows on TV, for instance, or photos in picture books that might seem inappropriate for your child's age range are good practices to have at home.

Most of all, parents must reassure the child that they are always there to help him overcome his fears, no matter what!