Molding resilient kids (First of two parts)

Resilience is defined as the "capacity to recover quickly from difficulties".  It is a word that has been used to describe survivors of the recent super typhoon Yolanda in our country.  It is also used to refer to the ability to bounce back from a failure or from a setback and continue on.  Resilience, therefore, is something children should learn early in life.

Because no matter how protective parents could be, they cannot always shield their children from the tribulations of life.  That is why it is important that children are taught how to be able to cope with life's challenges so they grow into adulthood prepared for every life's trials and adversities.

Here are some guidelines and tips to help you help your child develop resiliency: 

Competence. Competence describes the feeling of knowing that you can handle a situation effectively. Develop your kids' competence by helping them identify their own strengths, training them to make their own decision, allowing them to take risks, and avoiding comparisons among siblings. Be sure also that they do not construe your desire to protect them as not believing in their competence to handle things.

Confidence. It is a child's belief in his own abilities derived from competence. Help your kids gain confidence by focusing on and clearly expressing the best each child has so they can see it also. Likewise, you should recognize the things that they do well, and genuinely praise them for achievements.

Another is that you should not push them to do more than what they are realistically capable of. Egging them on to strive harder for them to maximize their potential is different from pressuring them to do what you think they can still handle.

Connection.  Develop close ties with the family and the community as this creates a solid sense of responsibility and strong value that help prevent children from following destructive paths.  You can help your children connect by building a sense of physical safety and emotional security within your home.

You should also allow your kids to open up with you and allow them to express all their emotions. This way, they would feel comfortable reaching out to you for help during difficult times. At home, create a common area where you all can share time together. Finally, always see to it that a healthy relationship pervades the home to reinforce the positive messages you are projecting.

Character.  Children need to develop a solid set of morals and values for them to determine right from wrong and to demonstrate a caring attitude toward others. To strengthen your child's character, start by showing how behaviors affect others. Show them that their actions also impact on other kids that they need to be sensitive of others.  You should help your children see themselves as caring persons.

Also, show them that a community is important that they must learn to be upright members of the community they belong to. Likewise, encourage them to develop their spirituality, and avoid hateful statements and stereotypes so they would not learn them.

The FREEMAN, with the Ramon Aboitiz Foundation Inc. (RAFI), is running weekly features on Early Childhood Care and Development (ECCD) to emphasize the importance of ECCD and to increase public support for ECCD. For comments or suggestions, email Rene.Martel @rafi.org.ph.