CEBU, Philippines - BARBECUE STICK. They just lie on the resort’s concrete pathways or basketball court unnoticed most of the time. However harmless they may appear to you, if somebody accidentally steps on the blunt side, the sharp side is levered up and becomes very dangerous to any foot passing by (including yours). I call this the “pick-up stick†effect. This can happen to you while you’re running or just simply walking. The depth of the wound that the stick causes on any part of your foot obviously depends on the impact that you make against the stick. Sometimes because it happens while you are running, the stick pierces the neck of your big toe and comes out near the big toe mound. There are also cases where the stick misses the inner big toe mound to lodge at the inner arch hitting huge veins all the way to break a hole just above the talus (one of the ankle bones). Although the outer parts of the foot are also at risk, the angle from the instep down to the foot bone and to the outer little toe mound makes it a dangerous target for a levered barbecue stick. And if you think only rusty nails can give you tetanus, you’re terribly mistaken! (Careful! These barbecue sticks also play hide and seek underneath the white, sugary sand).
BROKEN GLASS BITS. Thrown into the water by some irresponsible drunks or punks, they lie on the seabed untouched for so many years. You wouldn’t notice them until they make a cut on the tip of your toes or pierce through your flip-flops and stab your heel or toe mounds. Once cut or stabbed, some people think they’re bitten by a seasnake or a crab so they rush back to shore with eyes wide open and hearts heavily pumping only to realize it’s just a broken piece of glass. However, upon close examination more shards are discovered sandwiched in the deep cut. Will a hairpuller ever solve your problem? Maybe or maybe not. If you have a feeling there’s more broken glasses out there, better wear flippers or swimming shoes like the ones used by divers. No matter how thick your flip-flops are, if the broken bottle of whisky or rum or cola is hiding underneath a coral or half-buried in the sand, your foot will still be an easy target.
STUBBING ROCKS. Your exposed toes are the most vulnerable target. Normally, these rocks seem to come out especially when you’re hungry; when your feet are not so coordinated. You hit them either underwater or out on the sand. If the impact is hard, your toes are bruised or you break a toe bone. The worst thing these protruding rocks can do you is crack or flip over or remove an entire fingernail. The pain that goes with it is so nerve-wracking and mind-blowing, you’ll forget who you are and where you are for a while. And the pain won’t go away as soon as the bleeding stops. It will continue to throb like a chronic headache. With your dislodged nail in your hand, your tears falling, you think you can still put your nail back. You will have to wait for some time for it to grow again and cover that lacerated toe that pretty much resembles the cross-section of an ordinary chorizo.
SEA URCHINS. If the water is clear as you wade through it, you will most likely see the urchins moving their spines to the secret rhythms of the sea. Because they’re just there hiding beneath a coral or dancing with the weeds, you can easily change course and avoid them. But if the water is high, they become concealed. Their spines are too brittle to break a hole in your flip-flops. So, the most likely target of these beautiful sea creatures are the toes, the inner and outer arch, and the proximal end of the fifth metatarsal of your foot. These are the only vulnerable points where the spines of the urchins can reach despite your flip-flops. The pain is the same as when you’re pricked by a fish bone in your kitchen (pretty bearable). However, because the urchin’s spines are so crisp, once they prick your sole, they break, leaving behind whatever length is jammed into the skin. Now comes the problem. How will you remove the lodged spine? Hairpuller again? Old folks suggest you just have to let another person pee on it (not you, take note). Urine is said to have qualities that will stop the gangrenous effect of the spine. No therapeutic claims on this but once I got pricked by urchins (maybe four black spines were lodged into my foot’s inner big toe mound), I let my cousin pee on it and the four spines immediately experienced what embalmers would call “rigor mortis†right there where they’re lodged. They were never removed but as years went on they disappeared. When this happens to you, just pray that the area of the spines won’t get infected.
JAGGED PETRIFIED CORALS. They’re huge and they’re the ones under which you hide from the heat of the sun. But sometimes you are not contented with just sitting underneath it. You want to explore more especially the other side of it. So, now with your flip-flops on, you step on sharp corral stones after sharp coral stones, making your way to the other side. Because the jagged surface of these stone corals are so irregular, you will have to balance yourself on it so as not to fall over. And because your flip-flops are made of rubber, there are instances where the side of your foot or the front of your toes rub against the sharp surface (like peanut kisses actually but sharper). They may not really pierce your skin but they will give you deep scratches that sting with the salt water as soon as you get yourself to the other side. And once you go back to work or school, the sting will not leave but will continue to annoy you. Some of these scratches if not attented to will develop into open skin infections that may lead to gangrene.
RUSTY NAILS. Watch out if there’s construction going on near the resort because most likely there are lumbers laid on the sides that still have the nails on them (they’re the ones used as scaffoldings or the ones taken down from old structures).Sometimes the tired carpenters just leave them aside or leaning on walls of cottages, guard house, reception areas, buildings, and even on the trunks of bending coconut trees. The wind sometimes blow them down so that they now lie dangerous on the pathway or bermuda grass with the protruding rusty nails. Prepare to be crucified! Bam! The pain riding on lightning speed immediately reaches the back of your ear and numbs everything in your head, unforgiving. Cry and shout until it hurts no more because there’s seems to be nothing as painful as this in the world, I guess. Yes the magnitude of pain that you will experience is directly proportional to the diameter and length of the nail. And again, you have just stirred up old tetanus from its peaceful slumber.
MOSS. These won’t pierce or stub your foot obviously. They are soft, tiny, leafy-stemmed, flowerless plant of the class Musci that are seen mostly covering rocks and trees. Supposedly harmless but as dangerous as the other hazards when you’re wearing your flip-flops while stepping on it. Holding hands with your girlfriend or boyfriend while walking on moss covered stones and rocks near the beach won’t really help (although romantically it can! Especially if the sun is simultaneously setting over the horizon). A little adventure is good if coupled with respect for this plant because if you don’t, you can expect to get a cracked temporal or parietal bone or a broken elbow plus a bloody nose. My idea is, if you really want to step on those stones or rocks on the side of the dock or dike, remove your flip-flops and insert them up your arms. That way, you immediately know where your feet are going because they’re directly in contact with the rock or stone. If you are a gymnast or tightrope walker, you are still not exempted from this.
SOAPED TILES. If you are the first in line, don’t leave the shower room with soap on the tiles. That would be too insensitive and selfish. If you are the next in line, check first if the tiles are slippery or not by stepping one foot first on the wet floor while holding on to the shower room’s door or wall. If you don’t, you might wake up no longer in the shower room but in the hospital bed. Good if you don’t have contussions or hematoma or broken pelvic bones because if you do, you will stay put in the nearest hospital and that would ruin everything with you and your friends at the beach. What is supposed to be a happy reunion and celebration will turn into a tragic experience. Lesson of the story is, leave your flip-flops outside the shower room because that would double the glaze created by the soap on the floor.
THE PERSON WALKING BEHIND. If you’re walking behind somebody, careful not to step on his or her flip-flops. This can create a series of disasters you don’t wish to see at the beach. Say, you step on a guy who’s carrying plates and glasses or bottles of beer. He stumbles over and because he loses his balance, he loses grip of whatever he’s holding. And he slams his face right on to the dirt. Everything is broken and the beer is wasted. He turns around to look at you. Face starts flushing and he throws all kinds of foul language at you. What do you do? Run? You say sorry to the man but the man doesn’t want your apologies because he’s drunk. Fight begins which culminates into a rumble of friends. When the guards arrive, you are down and out.
I’d rather wear my Chucks!