City of Mercedes Taxis

CEBU, Philippines - It was comfortable and sunny when we left Venice, Italy, and we only needed light jackets. But when we got to Hamburg, Germany, we donned our thick winter jackets again. It was raining when we arrived. My husband had a friend who lived there, and she picked us up at the bus terminal. “This is the usual weather here,” she said.

On our first night in Hamburg, we were too exhausted from the trip to do anything except go to dinner. Our friend took us to Jam Jam (pronounced “Yam-Yam”) “Running Sushi Restaurant”. An image crossed my mind of sushi rolls sprouting little legs and dashing across the table. Actually, the food did keep “running” on the conveyor belt, and it was an eat-all-you-can deal. Music to a Filipino’s ears.

The next day, we went to the harbor and took a boat ride for sight-seeing. Unfortunately, the guide spoke only German and it was difficult to stay awake for the whole hour. Apparently, it was a big deal to see the harbor, since Hamburg’s port is the second largest in Europe, but I just couldn’t get excited over gigantic ships.

Back on dry land, we wandered around the pier for a while, then up and down Hamburg’s streets, in search of a decent restaurant where we could have dinner. During the walk, I noticed that Hamburg’s taxis are Mercedes Benz cars. I can’t say I’ve seen that in anyplace else.

We went to a Portuguese restaurant for dinner, and then we walked five hundred meters to an amusement park. There, we found a ride which blew my mind. It was called “No Limit”, but I thought the more suitable name would be “Bowel Rearranger”. The “ride” looked like a giant sling shot, and people were waved to and fro high up in the air. I screamed and my stomach tightened, and I wasn’t even on the ride. People getting off the ride pretended they were cool, but they looked like they’d been punched in the stomach.

The food offered at the amusement park was mind-boggling. All sorts of fruits covered with chocolate, pastries, sausages, ice cream, slushies, cotton candy, peanuts, baguettes, cheese, pretzels, and cookies the size of throw pillows. If I had known about the food there, I would not have had the dinner earlier on. I can still taste the chocolate-covered banana and chocolate-covered grapes that I managed to force in.

In the middle of the park, they set up a section where the theme was the Middle Ages. They did not use electricity here; only candles were used. Vendors selling all kinds of goods were dressed like they stepped out of the movie Robin Hood. They had axe-throwing and archery games. In a corner, I saw three naked people sitting in a hot tub. But attracting the most attention was a male band set up on stage, dressed in what looked like kilts, a.k.a. skirts. I’ve only seen the instruments they were playing in the movies, such as bag pipes. One burly man was playing with one leg lunged forward, his muscular thigh exposed. The music they played was electrifying. The crowd was pumped up. Who knew the middle ages was so rockin’?

After the park, our friend said she had to take us to the Reeperbahn, or Hamburg’s Red Light District. In German, they call it the “Sinful Mile”. We passed by the sex shops and strip clubs and searched for a bar. The first bar we went to was so packed, we had to squeeze through people six feet tall, and I’m talking about women here. We squeezed our way through freakishly tall human beings, and then went right out of the bar and into another one which was not as suffocating. A rock band was playing, and I was happy that they played songs in English.

After standing one hour behind a tattooed guy whose hand seemed permanently attached to his girlfriend’s butt, we decided to go home. The night was just starting for most of the people in the bar, but sleeping was a more enticing activity for me and my friends.