My neighborhood

To some good extent, our personalities are shaped by our surroundings. The essence of the place we live in and the people around us somehow seep into our own characters. Our neighborhood can have a bearing in the way we view ourselves and the world, as well as how others view us.

   We may not always have the option to choose the people to surround us. But we may choose the way we experience other people’s presence in our lives. We may choose to consider them as either warnings or inspirations.

   Some say that neighbors are sent our way for a purpose. That there is a reason why we are placed in their midst, why we come within each other’s spheres. Trouble is, it is not very easy finding out what the reason is.

   So I try to keep some distance. I try not to get close to anyone, until I get to know the person well enough. But, of course, I try to put up a friendly front, while keeping fenders on at the same time, always being observant and watchful beneath my smile.

   The people in my neighborhood are quite an interesting mix: workers, vendors, students, bar girls, drug addicts, bums. Both the good and the bad, you might say. To an outsider, our place can look rather ugly. The road is untidy, overtaken by people just loitering about. The view can get worse if you stay around longer; more ugliness can unfold.

   We have neighborhood bullies who bask in their delusion of personal power and reign over others. They treat peaceful neighbors like subjects to yield to their demands at a click of a finger. The insinuation is that whoever crosses the bullies’ path would suffer their wrath.

   There are also the charitable neighbors who flaunt their generosity to others. The indigents in the area are convenient targets of their ostentatious display of kindness. They see to it that their every kind deed earns the praise and recognition of everyone.

   Drug addicts comprise quite a sizeable group in the neighborhood. These young people are in the habit of sniffing their future away. They mind their own business most of the time, unless they set their eyes on the neighbors’ belongings to fare their next psychedelic trip.

   And we have social climbers. They are of two types: the Matinee Idols and the Rich-and-Famous. The former spend their whole days posing at every spot available for all to see, with clothes and gears either borrowed from friends or obtained from used-items stores. They mimic the real matinee idols they see on TV, changing outfits almost every two hours; you’d think they are paid fashion models.

   For their part, our version of the rich-and-famous really try to dress up to the image. They brag about their associations with the real powerful and wealthy, dropping big names all the time. They hold their heads high as they alight from a taxi, showing off filled shopping bags from big-name boutiques (even if, often, there are only laundry detergent and a few packs of instant noodles inside). But when it’s time to approach the corner sari-sari store for credit, they’d cover their faces.

   The moralists among us agonize and bleed their hearts out over every defect they see in the neighborhood. On their team are critics who spot every bad and wrong that can be found around, expending their precious energies in highlighting the negatives. But none of them do anything to correct the wrongs or improve on the deficiencies.

   And, there’s the biggest group of all — we, the tolerant majority. We go about our lives quietly, ever careful not to antagonize anybody. But we are very observant of what goes on around, eager not miss out on the neighborhood news. Well, that’s about all we do.

   Good thing we have a few truly Good Samaritans around. While obviously outnumbered, these people just do whatever they can to make a positive contribution to life in the community. They are sincere and full of good, selfless intentions. They are the reason that makes me choose to remain in the area.

   I try to distinguish between the neighbors to emulate and those to beware of. The ugliness I see around me I put to good use to temper my idealism, to remind myself that this is not a perfect world and, thus, I shall try to do my part of making it better. It heightens – instead of dampens – my enthusiasm for life. Every slight dash of goodness I find sustains my feeling of hope and sense of optimism.

   It may not always be possible for us to choose where to be or who to be with. But it is definitely within our power to conduct ourselves well in whatever situation. It is all up to us what to make of our circumstances. We are how we think and behave.

In my neighbourhood, you need a good anchor not to be pulled away. My every day is a struggle to stay on the right course, to uphold what I deem to be right choices. I choose to make my surroundings – whether good or bad – mould me, rather than break me.   (E-MAIL: [email protected])