Hate is a venom

A young lad confided that he hates his mother.  When he commits mistakes, no matter how trivial it is, she lashes at him with her venom tongue without impunity. Even in the presence of other people, especially his friends, she’s so fiery with her tongue. There are times he would think of getting even with her. But the thought that she is his mother stopped him from pursuing whatever his mind prompted him to do.

Hate is a very negative emotion, Sylviane Nuccio, a life coach and a freelance writer, declares. It is the result of deep resentment that can be the result of jealousy, anger, or other negative feelings and emotions.  As human, we tend to hold on to it.

I do agree with the observation of Nuccio. I think it’s normal for us to harbor hatred for someone who have hurt u.   In fact, there are some of us, even in our moment of slumber, we still carry it in our consciousness. However, if we look at it in its deepest core,  we are the loser. Because we allow the person whom we hate to have power over us. 

Nuccio believes that there are ways to get rid of hatred. This is what she says:

•  If you feel you hate someone, first go to the source of your hate and find out the real reason why you hate that person.. Most likely, you will find out that what you hate is not the person itself, but what the person did.

• Once you come to that realization, just for a moment, transfer that hate from the person to the ‘act’ that such person did.

• Once you’ve done this correctly, you will realize that it doesn’t make any sense to hate an action or a thing.

• Such realization will help you see your ‘hate’  as being ridiculous and useless and it will help you to let it go forever. 

One may ask, “Does it mean that it’s  easy to do?”  Nuccio replies, “No,  it’s not but it’s a away out of hate. It’s a way to be able to rationalize and see that hate from another point of view. So instead of hate being in control of you, you are in control of that hate emotion.”  As  philosophical writer, Kahlil Gibran  once said, “ Hate is a dead thing. Who of you would be a tomb?”

 Ephesians 4:31-32 reminds, “Get rid of all bitterness…Instead be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another.” With this thought, there’s nothing like practicing compassion as writer Leo Babauta pointed out in his article, Zen Habits: Handbook for Life,  in Theosophical Digest No.95:

Commonalities practice. Instead of recognizing the difference between yourself and others, try to recognize what you have in common. At the root of it all, we are all human beings. We need food, shelter and love. Reflect on these commonalities you have with every other human being. Then tell yourself, “Just like me, this person is seeking happiness in his/her life.” “ Just like me, this person has known sadness, loneliness and despair.” “Just like me, this person is trying  to avoid suffering in his/her life.” “ Just like me, this person is  learning about life.”

Act of kindness practice. Practice doing something kind to help ease the suffering of others.”

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Email: oysonkathy@yahoo.com