A Supreme guide to self-promotion

MANILA, Philippines - “@annacanlas your not pretty but I like you” read the casual shout-out from my Twitter troll. “You’re” spelled “your” semi-cushioning the blow.

“Thanks huh” I publish back. But really—wailing to my co-workers. Stop working, office! “And listen to me me me” levels of despair. Through grit teeth, a series of self-referentials: I love how there was an attempt to make me feel better. But didn’t either end of that tweet cancel each other out? Why is my heart being treated like monkey meat? What’s she trying to communi-ma-cate? If she didn’t exactly have anything to say, couldn’t she just not have tweeted?

The last, being a salient terminal question, when it comes to propriety on Twitter.

If you think about it, what’s my trauma? As per its founder, the brief blips of information relayed over the micro-blogging channel shouldn’t even really mean all that much. From asking users to update their personal status with ..nnnnbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmthe six-year-strong Twitter has expanded the question to “What’s happening?”—an indication of the type of verbal free-for-all that transpires on the medium everyday.

“...We came across the word ‘twitter’, and it was just perfect,” says creator Jack Dorsey. “The definition was ‘a short burst of inconsequential information,’ and ‘chirps from birds’. And that’s exactly what the product was.”

From being just an open diary, now Twitter is a public shout box—a place to rub elbows, keep tabs, and send out feelers. Basically, your local gym.

Lately, though, the name of that grease garage feels a lot like It-ness First. Twitter has become home to the humble brag — a place where status messages turn status-symbols, fed by the generation’s acute sense of ambient awareness. It’s a symptom of the social media age. We’ve come to care a lot about what other people think.

“Touchdown, LA.” “Shopping at #Barneys with @itgirlthis.” “Nice to meet you @localcelebrity!”

What we say we do, the places we announce that we’ve been to, who we report we’re with—have all become means to point out where one is in the hierarchy of cla$$. Now, everyone can be their own PR agent. We’ve put the periphery front and center. But, please. Use the medium responsibly. Last we heard, #self-indulgence was trending on Twitter. It came to us in a dream about ice cream bars... 

Easy On The Re-Tweets.

A great big percentage of re-tweets involves breaking news stories. The rest are reserved for compliments. Oftentimes, it’s an expression of gratitude, with the quoted, original tweet. Like “RT I saw @143you at the bloggers’ convention, so handsome! – thank you! You pretty cute 2”. Which could pass, for purposes of continuity. But then there are the confusing RTs, like that repost of a message saying “you are so humble.” Eh? I guess you have to be pretty hard sell with only 140 characters. 

Be Able To Tell If

it’s a @namedrop.

Another aspect of Twitter, swiftly touched on above, is the fact that you can use the tagging feature (@nameofperson) to associate yourself with a certain person. A lot of the time, fans use it to declare their love for their celebrity idols. (@meganbata we love you! Love, megsters) Other times, it’s to declare a new acquaintance. (Nice to meet @you today.) There are instances, however, when it becomes a form of name-dropping. Know the temperament of the person you are tagging. If they’re not that gracious, you might be re-christened @feelingclose. 

Spread The Love, Not The Viral Video.

Another form of promotion on Twitter involves making things trend. Whether it’s certain topics (catalogued as hashtags) or media content (a.k.a. “viral” videos), this idea has been appropriated by a lot of companies peddling consumer products. It’s even come to the point of paid tweets, where prominent personalities try to generate online discussions around them. It works, cause fans have been known to translate their direct link to a celebrity, as a direct link to the brand as well. I guess my biggest beef jerky with making something trend in this way is the fact that it’s made to seem organic, when it’s not.

Don’t conspire for relevance. Viruses spread on their own. 

Repeat After Me: N.B.D.

As with many social networks, Twitter has its own applications in dating. Flirting, to be exact. Public declarations, or at least, status messages that make parinig (this is what I meant earlier about sending out feelers) normally tend to do that. But just as there are people you meet in clubs (sigh), be wary of the self-promotions of those who court your affections on Twitter. Because of the medium’s highly public nature, there’s a huge pambobola element. If you want to revel in the moment, though, do nothing to the tweeter. You may, however, keep all such prompts in a folder in your email. I may or may not have one, marked “attachments.

Keep It Real.

If you’re truly unsure about how much back-patting and self-indulgence is too much, remember that Twitter is a microblog—a means to document, rather than to construct. If you must retweet a compliment, or congratulate yourself for an accomplishment you’re really proud of, just make sure it’s grounded in reality. There’s nothing wrong about keeping up the myth. Just make sure you’ve got something on, when they peel back the layers.

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Tweet me @annacanlas.