Best of the week: Bieber fever, Gaga's egg, and Esperanza Spalding

Phoenix Award of the Week: Christina Aguilera

MANILA, Philippines –  A week after she famously fumbled the Star Spangled Banner, Christina Aguilera redeemed herself this week by singing the hell out of Ain’t No Way during an Aretha Franklin tribute at the Grammy’s. While her rendition was a wee bit overdone, she successfully reminded the world just how immensely talented she is. After performing with Jennifer Hudson, Florence Welch, Martina McBride, and Yolanda Adams though, Christina displayed her recent propensity for self-sabotage by falling on the stage. It seems her rendition was so good she knocked herself out.

Special Delivery of the Week: Lady Gaga

She’s worn meat, bubbles and glass. So what else is left for Lady Gaga? In another awesome display of the best Halloween costumes for the 21st century, the eccentric hit maker “birthed” herself at the 2011 Grammy’s by means of an egg. She was carried by her little monsters through the red carpet, where she greeted her fans via pushing her face into the surface of her egg. “Lady Gaga is excited for her rebirth, her heartbeat is now 99 beats per minute,” claimed a rep who walked the red carpet while Gaga’s egg was carried by scantily-clad men. Later in the show, she birthed herself and performed her new single Born this Way. Disappointingly though, the egg turned out to be more Tupperware than organic, with Gaga coming out of a hatch instead of hatching. But who cares when you’ve made history by nailing Billboard’s 1,000th number one, right?

Cynthia Makilala Achievement Award: Esperanza Spalding

Take a deep breath and then speak in your best nasal voice. Now, say the word “Cynthia” over and over. That’s right, it’s gayspeak for “Sino siya?” and that is the question the whole world is asking. Esperanza Spalding won the Grammy for Best New Artist, and that moment was, uh, awkward. Beating out Justin Bieber for a shot at a golden trophy in the 2011 Grammys, Spalding was the first jazz artist to win in that category. Expressing dismay and disgust over her win, Beliebers took out their frustration by vandalizing her Wikipedia page. Edits are now moderated, but earlier vandals included “Quesadilla” as her middle name, and a message that read, “GO DIE IN A HOLE.” Justin Bieber is the worst thing that happened to Miss Quesadilla, err, Spalding.

Anyare Award of the Week: Zac Efron and Shia LaBeouf

Remember when Zac Efron and Shia LaBeouf were the objects of lusts of many a cougar and dirty old man? Those days might be over as both Disney standouts were seen looking a little heavier and rougher this week. Fresh from yet another alcohol-fueled brawl, Shia looked the part of an ex-con, making his way around town in his new do. Meanwhile, breaking up is surely hard to ’do for Zac Efron. He might’ve had more than his share of bread at the Olive Garden. He turned up at events this week looking heavier and rounder than usual.

Fashion Faux Pas of the Week: Bobon/Dansen Debacle

Early this week, tweets made the rounds accusing designer Puey Quinones of trying to pass on a Dansen suit (a brand carried by SM Department Store) as a Bobon by Puey Quinones original. Groom John Maala and bride Shea Gamboa found out that a suit they bought from Quinones for P30,000, was a Dansen suit retailing for P3,000. In a statement, Quinones said that he was “simply pressured to create a suit and found a perfect blank canvas to develop.” He told a StyleBible journalist that he just wants to “move on and focus on more worthwhile things in life.” More worthwhile than your reputation as a designer? I don’t know about you, but a reputation should probably be pretty worthwhile to any designer, or person, for that matter.

Oh No, You Didn’t! Award of the Week: Tricia Gosingtian

Internet princess Tricia Gosingtian was under fire this week after her comments in a New York Fashion Week video surfaced. Tricia, who was sent to NYFW by Tumblr along with other fashion bloggers, was at a lunch with Elle fashion director Nina Garcia when she commented in a video that the Philippines is not very fashion-forward and that people here don’t dress well. Soon after, some of her young fans tweeted dismay at their local fashion icon’s seemingly unpatriotic display. Tricia explained her side on her Twitter, of course, saying that the quotes were taken out of context and that she has always promoted the Philippines. “There were so many things that were asked and so many things I said, but videos can only show us so much,” she tweeted. “I’m no authority in fashion and I never said I was. It’s not that I don’t support fashion in the Philippines. I was just being completely honest.”

Pedobear Material of the Week: Bieber for ‘Rolling Stone’

While his Grammy loss left his fans devastated and murderous, Justin Bieber gave his older fans something to chew on. This week, the March 3 edition of Rolling Stone magazine hit newsstands showcasing a pedo-friendly shot of Bieber. “I don’t think you should have sex with anyone unless you love them,” he told the interviewer. Well, those dirty old men will certainly love your twinkly little self Justin.

Fun Find of the Week: The brain and 147 friends

In a recent publicized hypothesis, Oxford anthropologist Robin Dunbar claims the human brain can only hold up to 147 friends. The theory, dubbed the “Social Brain Hypothesis,” claims that the size of the brain is correlative to the person’s social circle. Hence, with the average size of the human brain, the number of friends you can store in it is at exactly 147.8 friends. But of course, you won’t have a friend which will count as 0.8. Facebook even confirms the theory by confirming that the average number of friends a person has on FB is close within that range. That proves our theory that friend-to-thousands “John Doe Full” and “Mary Jones Full II” are schizos and psychos.

Lover Boy of the Week: P-Noy

All work and no play makes P-Noy a bald boy, eh? Just when we thought the bachelor president would not get a ticket to Sogo Hotel or just plain Quezon Avenue, he actually admitted that he wasn’t alone on Valentine’s. The President did not reveal who his date was, saying he wanted to keep his plans to himself. Media speculation pointed to Len Lopez, a stockbroker and said to be the best friend of former first daughter Luli Arroyo. Let’s see if all goes well. Otherwise, P-Noy probably needs a new way to keep his approval ratings up.