Doug Kramer: ‘I’m a natural father’

MANILA, Philippines - People say parents are supposed to sacrifice; they have to give up a lot of things. Others struggle to find time for their kids. But for me, it’s not about sacrifice. It’s not something to think about. It’s a natural thing. I always look forward to spending time with my kids. It’s my priority,” says PBA player Doug Kramer. “I’m a natural father.”

Doug Kramer, a professional player in the Philippine Basketball Association, is married to actress Cheska Garcia. They have three children — Kendra, four years old; Scarlett, two years old; and Gavin, one year old.

They’ve gained celebrity as a family through their Facebook account on the Internet. “We have 1.2 million followers,” Doug says.  â€œWe are known as Team Kramer.”

We are in one of the rooms of Domuschola International School, which serves as a temporary dressing room for Team Kramer’s photo shoot.

Domuschola International School, which is headed by Jennifer Mapua Banal, wife of coach Joel Banal, started as Second Mom Child Care Preschool in 2001. In 2006, it became Domuschola International Grade School. In 2011, the school was classified as an IB World School by the International Baccalaureate Organization (IBO) of Switzerland. The following year, it opened its high school department. They have just moved to their new building located on J. Cruz St.  in Ugong, Pasig City.

Doug met Cheska when he was in his second year in college. He was first attracted to her face, he recalls. He was also attracted to her strong personality. “She has her own mind. She’s smart. You can have great conversations with her. And she’s family-oriented,” Doug shares. “I always prayed that I would meet the right girl.”

They got married in 2008. He was 25 years old. He is now 30. Cheska is 34.

 â€œKendra was a honeymoon baby,” Doug says. He remembers when his first child was born. He can’t remember what day it was, but that is not important, he says. What is important is the moment. “It was the most important moment in my life,” he recalls. Unlike most typical males who would like to have a boy for their firstborn, Doug always wanted a girl. “I wanted a little princess in my life,” he says.

“We are hands-on parents,” Doug shares. “I give the kids their bath. I fix the baby’s milk in the morning. Cheska fixes their clothes. The yayas are there just to help.”  

He wants to raise God-fearing children, he says. He reads Bible stories to his kids. They always pray before meals.

They take disciplining their kids seriously. “I never discipline in public,” Doug says. “I take them aside. First, I give a warning. I talk to them.”

He does have a “discipline stick,” as he calls it. It’s a hollow plastic stick, which he uses to spank their behind. He never uses his bare hands. “Hands are used for affection,” he says. After the spanking, he reassures them and tells them that he loves them.  This may all sound like applied textbook Parenting 101, but Doug says that his real models are his own parents.

“I have very good parents. They were there for me always,” Doug says.

“We were brought up well.” His dad was an oil engineer, while his mom was a stay-at-home mom. Doug studied in a Christian school in Baguio where he grew up. He then took up a two-track course, AB International Studies and Communication Leadership Strategy at the Ateneo, where he was a student athlete for five years. He has been playing in the PBA as a professional for almost eight years now.

Cheska shares Doug’s disciplining approach. “When it comes to disciplining the kids, it’s Doug who does it,” she says. “I am the ‘everyday reminder.’  We do not want it to appear that we are not united. So, there is no bargaining with Mom.” For Cheska, parents should work together as partners.

 â€œLike any other parent, I want my kids to grow up to be responsible people,” Cheska says, “not influenced by what society tells them to be, but for them to develop their character.”

Doug’s greatest fear is that their kids “might conform to the pleasures of this world,” he says, “to the bad influence of friends, to peer pressure.” Doug’s idea of a progressive school for his kids is one with a program where the parents are involved in the learning of the children. “I want to see parents involved in the education of their children,” he says. “Domuschola has that. We support the values of the school.”

 â€œWe are student-centered,” Jenny Banal explains. “We follow the inquiry method. We encourage the students to ask questions and discover for themselves about the world.”

Kendra is a precocious four-year-old. She does not hesitate to come straight up to you and ask, “What are you writing?” She says she likes hugging and kissing her papa, and proceeds to do just that, profusely. Father and daughter are not shy about this spontaneous public display of affection, even taking selfies to share, no doubt, with their followers. “What you see is what you get,” Doug says. “We are a happy family. I think Filipinos are looking for that.”

Again, he says, “I’m a natural father. If I had to change to be this kind of father, then I might slip back. I am blessed to be loyal to my wife. It’s not impossible if you have Jesus Christ in your life.”  Even his sister told him that she was looking for a guy like him. Coming from a sister, he says, that’s a compliment. “I’m setting the standard for my kids, for what a real man should be in their life.”

Just like any couples, they do have their fights. But they go by what the Bible says: “Do not let the sun go down on your anger.” Doug shares, “Even before we were married, we were practicing this already.”

Just like normal children, the kids fight over their toys. While Kendra was changing into her costume, her baby brother took the chance to play with the colorful building blocks set up as props for the pictorial. It took no time for her to swoop down like a mother hen and reclaim the toys for her own. It was hot. The baby cried. Team Kramer was not spared from the vicissitudes of a sweltering summer day.  Sometimes, Kendra can get impatient when she is asked to pose for too many pictures, Doug says. “People sometimes forget that she is only four years old.”