What to expect when she's expecting

THIS WEEK’S WINNER

Richard H. Mamuyac is the communications specialist of the People Management Association of the Philippines (PMAP) and also does freelance writing. He graduated from the University of the East with a degree of AB Communication Arts. He blogs at Astig Machismis and Mapanghingi ka ba?

MANILA, Philippines - My relationship with reading goes back a long way. I learned the alphabet through a thin booklet with the cover of a woman teaching two kids (probably her children) how to read. Then I fell in love with Funny Komiks, which made me a little confused with the title because some of the stories actually made me teary-eyed.

Then came the mandatory reading trekking through elementary to college. But, of course, along the way, I had discovered a chest full of great magazines and books on my interests: mythology, sports, history, oveer entertainment, short stories, pop culture and a few Edgar Allan Poe collections.

Today, you can still catch me drooling on a new book about wizards, dragons, vampires and werewolves from time to time, even though I am now more inclined to watch DVDs and online shorts to relax.

But let me make a little confession that might be quite unusual for someone who, when he was young, dreamed of becoming a professional wrestler. I got hooked on a pregnancy book once. Before you raise your eyebrows thinking that I underwent a sex-change operation, give me a few minutes to explain.

Back in 2007, my wife and I were very excited to have our first baby. We wanted to make sure that everything would be okay so we religiously went through all the required procedures, tests and checkups. My former boss recommended What to Expect When You’re Expecting by Murkoff, Eisenberg and Hathaway of Workman Publishers as a good pregnancy reference.

It not only provided my wife a guide to pregnancy with the book’s detailed information on every possible aspect of prenatal period like proper diet, common illnesses and symptoms, and a month-by-month fetal development, it also answered some of my queries that I couldn’t directly ask my wife’s obstetrician — like sex during pregnancy.

It was also our myth buster of sorts about stuff our elders say about pregnancy. More importantly, the book taught me how to be more patient with my wife, who made grocery-hopping a regular item on my schedule with her requests for out-of-season fruits and vegetables. I am not sure if she can still remember asking me to look for newly cooked menudo at 9 p.m. I was ordering from a beerhouse.

The book says that there is no definitive answer to why pregnant women crave certain foods although it suggests possible answers: hormonal changes during pregnancy, temporary nutritional deficiencies, emotional needs being connected with food intake, and a way of warding off pregnancy symptoms.

Just when we thought that we were equipped and ready for parenthood, tragedy struck us. In her eight month, my wife experienced preeclampsia or pregnancy-induced hypertension. The book was the first thing I grabbed when I got home to pack our things after our doctor recommended my wife be confined. I scanned the book looking for something good or an escape for what I foresaw to be a rough ride but all it had was a warning that my wife and baby were in a delicate condition.

I thought the book was worthless, but soon I realized that it was just being truthful as an emergency caesarean was ordered to save my wife with the hope that our baby would also survive through the help of pumps and machines. Our baby Monique lived for only 12 hours but the joy she gave me when I first touched her soft and fragile body is something I will forever cherish. Too bad, the book does not cover topics like “Short-lived fatherhood” or “Dads say their last goodbyes,” because it might have helped lessen my pain during those times.

Fast-forward two years: my wife again got pregnant and one can only imagine the mixed feelings we had when we heard the good news from our new doctor. How could we be more cautious with the pregnancy now if we already had been extra careful during her first time? It was time to consult “the book,” which was resting in the bottom rack of our bookshelf. It’s quite amusing to find features like “What You May Be Feeling” and “What You May Be Concerned About” because they really hit the spot.

On March 14, 2009, a seven-pound baby boy whom we would eventually name Charles Anthony (after my basketball hero Charles Barkley and favorite saint Anthony de Padua) was born. 

My wife and I just finished What to Expect the First Year and are now reading the early portions of What to Expect the Toddler Years. Without a doubt, this series about pregnancy and parenthood is something I highly recommend to first-time parents and soon-to-be-parents because they are well written and thorough. 

The What To Expect book series did not only tell us what we needed to know about parenting skills, but also how to be better parents.

I just realized now what the images on the thin yellow booklet I used to carry as a toddler represent. It shows that we are forever a child and a student in front of a book, and that we continue to learn through reading.