My life at 50

Finally,  I’ve arrived. The big 5-0. Half a century. Golden Girl. And what does it mean to me? Everything and nothing. Milestones happened to me even before the big 5-0. Approaching 50, my life turned upside down.

At 47, I was diagnosed with stage 2b breast cancer. At 47, I went through a lumpectomy, a modified radical mastectomy on my left breast and six rounds of chemotherapy all in one sweep. There was just one afternoon of denial, astonishment, anger, tears and the self-pitying  mantra “Why me?” and then there was no looking back.

I wanted to turn my life right side up again and went on to battle the Big C. No big deal. A few hours after my surgery, I was lifting my left hand over my right ear. I was cleaning toilets two days after my chemo sessions. I started shedding hair. So what? I had my hairdresser shave my head and went on to buy a stylish wig. I finally indulged myself in a secret fantasy of colored hair with highlights. I thought I looked even better. My appetite was good and my take on life was even better.

I found my strength in a highly personal relationship with my Lord. It’s been three years since the Big C episode. Since then, I have been on a personal timeline to make sure that I fulfill my major mission in life. I realized that after everything, the only substantial contribution I would leave behind is to make sure that I fulfill my role as a mom to the best I can, leaving nothing unturned or unfinished. 

My hair grew back a year after I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was also at this time when my husband and I found out that the nest egg we had set aside for our children’s education was crushed when the pre-need firm declared bankruptcy. We were both at our wits’ end. This was our mid-life crisis. From what used to be very comfortable life, we suddenly became budget-conscious.

Coming out of the experience has made me better at managing my cash flow, discovering the magic of breaking down big expenses into small, manageable denominations, very similar to the approach of successfully managing a problem. It was at this time when my life took an interesting turn. It happened on a Monday morning. My husband had tasked me to visit the offices of the educational pre-need firm we had signed up with and check for possible financial support on their tuition obligations. I decided to side track and inquire about a want ad that had caught my eye where part-time customer-care agents were being hired, moms invited.

I though to myself, this might be a better opportunity for me to earn extra money for my children’s tuition. So I called the number in the advert and asked what the age requirement for the job was. The girl on the other line mentioned that the minimum age was 18. I countered that I was already in my mid-40s. The girl said that if I was at least 18 years old, then I could go and apply. And so I did.

The bonus was that the office was a short five-minute drive from my house. So I queued up with several batches of applicants at 11 a.m. After a battery of exams — from IQ tests to general comprehension, English grammar and spelling exams, to multi-tasking tests on the computer and typing dexterity, plus a quick conversational foray in English with the interviewer — I was hired to be trained as a customer-care representative for an American telecommunications provider at 4 p.m. of the same day.

And a new chapter in my life opened on that fateful Monday morning. For nine hours in a day, I had time for myself, I was learning new things, I was enjoying the company of young people other than my own children, I was reconnecting with a part of myself that I had buried 15 years ago when I turned my back on a flourishing career as a hotshot advertising professional to be a full-time mom. For nine hours in a day, I was reinventing myself.

I have been working in a call center for the past two years. When my friends sounded surprised that I went back to work at my age, I asked them, “Why not?” And they realized that it was a natural progression for me because I had a good voice and was able to project sincerity and authority over the phone. It also put all the skills I had learned as a communications student and practitioner into good use. And when they found out that my shift was from 4 a.m. to 3 p.m., they were relieved for my health’s sake that at least I was not working the night shift.

For some reason, even if I was working on an American account talking to Americans halfway across the globe, I still worked the day shift. So that meant sleeping through the night and being home in time to help my kids with their homework. But as the days went by, I realized that my children were managing along pretty well on their own. I don’t mind being kept in the background — in fact, I welcome it — for so long as I am able to provide the environment for each of my five children to grow into their own person, develop their own personalities, discover their talents and pursue their passions. Then I know that I have done my share in nurturing them into becoming the best they can — like the way my Mom provided the environment for me to become the best I can.

I am now working in another call center, where I am called “Momi A.” Age apparently is the obvious reason for the moniker. After all, everybody I work with is younger than me. But then again, I’d like to think that I am able to impart my old-world values to the young people I work with. The owner of the center I work for tasked me with the challenge of imparting values we grew up with in the workplace. After all, the youth now are exposed to a fast-moving, fast-changing environment that leaves little time for retrospection.

I hope that subliminally, by way of example, I am able to touch their lives and impart values like discipline, honesty and excellence as their guiding work ethic.

So what is life at 50? Everything and nothing. Age is just a number. Indeed, at 50, I am now coming to terms with the fact that I have added extra pounds to my formerly lithe physique. At 50, I have learned to subtract all the excess baggage, material or emotional, that prevents me from having a fresh take on life every time. At 50, I have learned to count my blessings, multiply the learnings and share them with each person I interact with. At 50, I choose to divide my time effectively so that I might be able to finish life projects I had set out to do. 

It’s been three years since that bout with breast cancer and I’m set to count more years in my life.