Why I love children’s parties

My son turned seven this year. The seventh natal year is the year when most parents give their kids birthday parties.

I don’t know what it is about the number seven that parents give parties when their kids reach that age. The number seven was the lucky number of former president Marcos and current detainee ex-Mayor Sanchez, and that’s all I know about that number. The other time you give your kid a party is when he or she turns one. This is actually a Chinoy tradition more than a Pinoy tradition and I don’t know how it started either. But I think it’s better to give a party when the kid is seven than when he is one. At one, the kid is asleep half of the time or crying because he’s sleepy. Or very restless because the party costume is so "itchy-itchy." Or screaming like hell because everyone is trying to kiss him and pinch his cheek. Aside from a harassed birthday celebrant, you have a harassed mom trying to explain to all her guests that her kid is usually not that grouchy and is actually a very friendly baby. But traditions are traditions; it’s hard to break them.

Don’t get me wrong. I love children’s parties because they serve as therapy for me. But how can something as noisy as children’s parties become therapy? I think children’s parties have a pretty nice world of their own. They run the complete opposite of what’s actually happening outside the party place:

1). In children’s parties, there is only one boss, the party emcee, and the kids listen to him. In politics, there is supposed to be only one boss, but everyone acts like the boss.

2). The emcee dresses up like a cartoon character to amuse the audience. Some people in public service do not need costumes to amuse the public; they already act like cartoon characters.

3). In children’s parties, there are games galore and those who lose know how to lose gracefully. They just go back to their seats and hope to win in the next game. It’s not often that you see a kid throw a tantrum. Parents don’t bother to complain when a kid who can barely walk falls out of line and innocently breaks the rules and ends up winning. During elections, many losers cannot admit they lost and file complaint after complaint of cheating. They can’t wait to try their luck again in the next elections. They even drag their relatives and so-called followers to stage their nth version of people power at the Commission on Elections. In fact, even before the games begin, they probably have already taken all the prizes.

4). There are rules to follow during the games, and the kids follow them. In our city, people know there are rules but they like to break them. No. 1 on the list are the illegal sidewalk vendors. Next are the squatters. If you enforce the rules, they cry human rights violations. If you don’t, they think you are not doing your job and favoring others, and then sue you for graft.

With government contracts, it’s more complicated. It’s as if the rules are drafted only for show because they can be changed midstream.

5). If you’re too busy to plan a party, you usually hire a party organizer or hold it in a fastfood joint, restaurant or amusement center that has party packages. In other words, you leave it to the experts to help you plan things. Usually, everything turns out all right and you are less stressed as the host. In politics, there are also such people as advisers, and they’re definitely needed because you don’t expect the boss to be an expert on everything. But while half of the advisers are experts, the other half are there because, well, who knows why they’re there.

6). In children’s parties, you have a budget and you stick to it like anything. Most of the time, you cut on the decor or, as much as you don’t want to, the list of invitees. In government, it seems to be the opposite. They don’t want to cut out the fat and the bureaucracy, so the budget runs out even before it is spent.

7). One of the most awaited portions in children’s parties is the magic show. One of the magician’s tricks is to turn a paper napkin into a hundred-peso bill. In government, there are some magicians who are experts at turning hundred-peso bills into paper napkins.

8). Before the party ends, the emcee usually asks if there are any kids who have not gotten any prizes and can they please join the next game so they can win a prize. In real life, not everyone wins a prize, but the problem is, there are those who get big prizes but never worked for them in the first place.

These are the reasons I love children’s parties. They are to me what movies and spas are to other people. A place to escape from the world outside. If only for two hours.