BMW & Other Tips On Global Etiquette

If you think BMW is only a classy car and five days at $5,800 (4,400 euros) is a pitch for an exotic getaway, think again—if you’re a diplomat, CIA operative or a high-profile executive, it could be your ticket to success.

The formula is offered by professional etiquette coach Pamela Eyring who gives a persuasive argument that how you shake hands, raise a toast or choose a gift for your host can make or break your reputation as a player in today’s global field.

For the past 18 years, her Protocol School of Washington has groomed more than 1,900 pupils with straightforward practical training beefed up by mnemonic aids like "BMW"—for bread, meal and wine, a device to recall during the tensest million-dollar dinner deal that bread stays on the left, the meal in the middle and wine on the right.

"We teach formalities such as appropriate eye contact and hand shaking," Eyring told AFP as she hosted about 15 students at a seminar in an upscale hotel near Washington.

"In the US, eye contact for 60 percent of the time is acceptable. If you don’t give an American 40 to 60 percent eye contact, they don’t trust you or they think you are not listening to them.

"However, going back to Asian culture, 40 percent eye contact is too strong."

Today, Eyring said, "we are more global than we have been in the US...You can’t just apply one rule to one country.

"We really embrace other cultures and teach other cultures so that we can build better relations with different people from different countries."

Though most students come from the business world, the self-styled ambassadress of manners has also trained officials from the US Federal Bureau of Investigation and Central Intelligence Agency.

The academy had its first Chinese student earlier this year, Eyring said, and is bracing for more as the 2008 Olympics in Beijing approach.

"I believe China is a hot number. So many people are curious about China with the Olympic games coming."

On the "menu" during a recent course was dining etiquette—and the students were struggling.

"In continental style the wrists are on the table," said Eyring, former chief of protocol at Wright Patterson Air Force Base in the midwestern state of Ohio. "In America we put them on our lap."

The latter spelled the downfall of an American spy in World War II, who blew his cover and was arrested by the Nazis, Eyring said. His fault? He left his hands on his knees at a dinner party.

And don’t forget the subtleties of the fork. In "continental" or European-style dining, the fork is always held in the left hand in Europe whereas Americans switch the fork to the right hand once they have finished cutting their meat.

The appropriate "rest position" for silverware is also important, and the toast — primordial.

Dessert is the moment to lift one’s glass to honor someone — and if you’re the recipient of the tribute, you must under no circumstance take a sip yourself.

The intricacies of gift-giving are also critical, said Eyring who noted several faux-pas to avoid.

A knife, for example, even a finely worked model in sterling silver, is a no-no as it symbolizes severed relationship. A handkerchief means tears and grieving, while a clock can be fatal — signifying time running out, or even death.

Taboos also hold for conversation, according to one of the school’s instructors Nicole Krakora, director of special events and protocol at the Smithsonian Institution, who hammered into the students three subjects to avoid — crime, poverty and religion.

"Be friendly but not familiar," she said. "Be careful with jokes and humor."

She also encouraged pupils to familiarize themselves with foreign media rather than just the 24-hour US news channel, CNN.

"Watch BBC, don’t watch only American news, be open-minded," she said. —AFP