Too late for reconciliation

MANILA, Philippines  — NBA legend Dennis Rodman’s father Philander Jr. died of prostate cancer at 79 in Pampanga last Tuesday and was never reconciled with his superstar son whom he abandoned in 1963. Twice, Dennis visited Manila for exhibition games and his father tried to reach out. In 2006, Dennis ignored Philander at the Smart Araneta Coliseum but in 2012, they met up briefly at the Mall of Asia Arena although it failed to cement a relationship that was estranged for over 50 years.

It was in 1989 when The STAR found Philander living in Balibago. Boxing referee Bruce McTavish, a long-time Angeles City resident, sought him out and arranged for The STAR interview that turned the retired US Air Force staff sergeant into a self-styled celebrity who authored two booklets “Rodman, Father And Son” (48 pages, P90 cover price) and “The Original Bad Boy” (66 pages, $11.95 cover price).

Philander was stationed at Clark Air Base as an airconditioning engineer in 1963 then reassigned to Wisconsin, North Dakota and Saigon before returning to Angeles City in 1969. He was released from military service in 1977 and stayed in Angeles City. It was once claimed that he fathered 27 children from different women but was formally married “only” twice.

An only child, Philander was born in Memphis and grew up in a segregated community. As a boy, he lived in fear as African-Americans were bullied and persecuted. Philander played football at Melrose High School and didn’t like basketball because it wasn’t rough enough. Once, Philander and some friends were hanging out in a street corner when white policemen came to beat them up. Philander said he was thrown in jail for no reason. The experience embittered Philander who at 18, decided to leave Memphis and enlist in the Air Force in 1958. He took a 28-week course in airconditioning engineering that became his specialty.

Philander’s father Philander, Sr. was a postman who lost his eye during a skirmish in the Korean War. His mother Lue Pearl Evans did odd jobs. His parents split up when he was six. Philander grew up without a father’s love just like Dennis. While Philander was deployed at Bergstrom Air Force Base in Austin, Texas, he would drive three hours to skate at a roller rink in Dallas where he met his first wife Shirley. They had three children – Debra, Kim and Dennis.

From Texas, Philander moved his family to New Jersey on a new military assignment and took on jobs as a janitor moving trash and taxi driver during his off-base hours. Then came the Clark assignment. He later volunteered for duty in Saigon as an airconditioning inspector in 1968 and had several close calls. Once, an enemy rocket blasted his office to smithereens only minutes after leaving for lunch. On another occasion, a sniper bullet killed an American solider riding in a tricycle on the road and Philander was right behind in another tricycle. In 1970, he divorced Shirley and married Diane Hume, a Clark telephone operator. He left the Air Force in 1977 to settle in Angeles City and divorced his second wife two years later.

In Angeles City, Philander was involved in several ventures. He operated several joints from the “New Birth Disco” to “Darling’s Place” to the Astropark Roof Garden to “Sunset Grove” to “Full House” and to “Rainbow Obama Burgers.” In Pampanga, he was called “Pilay” because of a limp stemming from breaking an ankle in a motorcycle accident in 1975. Philander appeared in three Filipino movies, “Bakekang” with Nora Aunor, “PX” with Hilda Koronel and “Maruso” with Lito Lapid. He also had a bit role in the Coppola film “Apocalypse Now.”

When The STAR discovered Philander in Angeles City, he showed a wad of his letters addressed to Dennis, all of them returned to sender. At the height of Dennis’ popularity in the NBA, Philander drew interest from world-wide media. Lauren Sanchez flew in from the US to interview him on the Time-Warner TV show “Extra” and he was brought to Chicago to hook up with his son but the planned reunion in a parking lot outside the Bulls practice facility, with TV cameras on standby, was a bust as they never shared a moment. Now that Philander has passed, maybe Dennis will realize that losing a father, no matter how he lived his life, is something that tugs at the heart.