A grandmother’s farewell

Today marks the 40th day since the untimely death of a six-year-old boy Jairo Benn Escalante Ducusin who perished in the fury of Super Typhoon Yolanda in Tacloban City. Jai-Jai was swept away by the storm surge and it took 11 days before a neighbor discovered his body about to be buried in a mass grave by Red Cross volunteers. His father Jeffrey and grandmother on his father’s side also died but their bodies were found over a week earlier.

A neighbor from Sagkahan in Tacloban who lost seven family members in the tragedy saw Jai-Jai, wearing a green T-shirt with the inscription “Born To Be Wild” and clutching a stuffed toy, being fitted in a body bag. Kuya Lito, the neighbor, hurriedly texted Jai-Jai’s mother Mary Joy who was in nearby Almagro Island and pleaded with the Red Cross volunteers not to bury Jai-Jai until he heard from the family. Mary Joy survived the storm and for 10 days, led the search for her son. She was with her mother Nelly for novena prayers when Kuya Lito’s call came. The Red Cross volunteers set aside Jai-Jai’s body but said if no relatives would claim it by 6 p.m., he would be buried in the mass grave as the corpses were at an advance stage of decomposition. Mary Joy made it back to Tacloban by 4 p.m.

Jai-Jai was born in London where his parents worked as nurses. The family would visit the Philippines once a year, for about two weeks at a time. Some two months ago, Jeffrey, 45, Mary Joy, 37, and Jai-Jai returned home for good. Jeffrey’s family has ricefields in Tanauan and Burauen, both in Leyte, and he was asked to take care of the property as the only son. Jai-Jai was excited to go to his new school, Bethel International, in Tacloban.

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When the storm struck, the Ducusins were at home. They held on to the iron bars on a wall of their house as the waters raged and the winds howled. When Jeffrey noticed that his mother and Jai-Jai were slowly losing grip, he tried to gather them to safety but they were all swept away by the force of the merciless surge. Mary Joy miraculously survived by clinging to the iron bars for dear life.

Jai-Jai’s grandmother and Mary Joy’s mother Nelly – Nelinia G. Natural-Escalante – wrote a beautiful letter to her beloved grandson to mark the 40th day from death today at the gravesite in Tanauan. A Holy Mass will be celebrated with the Ducusin and Escalante families getting together. Nelly’s husband whom Jai-Jai called Poy and her son Paeng whom Jai-Jai called Tito Boss will be there. Poy, Paeng and Mary Joy spent 10 days desperately looking for Jai-Jai all over the wasteland. They hired workers to dig through debris and muck. Once, Mary Joy noticed a small, white butterfly hovering over her head and she took it as a sign that Jai-Jai would be found, that her son was calling for her.

Before settling back in the Philippines, Jeffrey, Mary Joy and Jai-Jai took a trip to Germany with some relatives. Nelly remembered Jai-Jai’s look of bliss and contentment when he slept lying down face-to-face with his favorite stuffed toy which he called Ku-Ku. Jai-Jai was only two years old when he was given the stuffed toy as a present. Ku-Ku travelled with Jai-Jai wherever he went. To the end of Jai-Jai’s life, they were inseparable.

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“Today, we will hold a mass at your gravesite for you, your Daddy and Grandmommy,” said Nelly in her letter to Jai-Jai. “We will all gather in our unspeakable grief and utter devastation for losing you to that super typhoon that snuffed out lives and dreams. Through the help of countless friends, relatives and even total strangers all over the world, you were given a decent wake and burial. In the normal scheme of things, sons and daughters are supposed to outlive their parents and because everyone doted on you and will always love you so, finding you and Ku-Ku made us realize that you are truly gone. It was heartbreaking! But we know we should not really complain. Is it not that unlike others, God granted our prayers that you be found, dearest Jai-Jai?

“And so we did not say ‘goodbye’ to you but ‘til we meet again, Jai-Jai.’ We will see each other again in that better place where no super typhoon and other calamities could ever separate us again. You are now with your grandparents and your beloved Daddy, your ever gentle, soft-spoken Daddy with not a mean bone in his body. I bet you are regaling them now with your endless chatter and antics revelling in your role as one of the smartest angels in heaven.

“Pray for us, Jai-Jai. Ask God for all of us, especially your Mommy, to learn to truly accept what happened and humbly say, ‘Lord, not mine but Thy will be done.’ We all love you so and will miss you everyday of our lives, Jai-Jai! Kisses and hugs to you and Ku-Ku. Love always from your Lola Nelly.”