Advice to Kobe

The Kobe Bryant trade rumors haven’t died down. On the contrary, they’ve flared up even more, with some going so far as to say that the Team USA mainstay would be traded within the week.

A few days ago, former NBA champion and current television commentator Kenny Smith gave a list of things not to do when you want to be traded. Some of it makes sense, and some of it isn’t applicable to the situations of current players. Let’s look over his list, and add a little of our own flavor.

Never talk about being underpaid so you can be traded. So many players have made the mistake of opening their mouths about their “difficult” situation, when they make as much as some cities do. Anderson Varejao, for example, who was conspicuously absent from the Cleveland Cavaliers losses in the NBA China Games, haggled for a $9-million a year deal, at six points, six rebounds a game. Who’ll bite?

Never let anyone know how much you want to go. This just breeds bad blood all around. No fan or teammate will feel sorry for you when you whine.

Never trust the press. I think this should be amended to “never trust the press to do your job for you.” Quotes get taken out of context, misinterpreted, and add fuel to animosity. Think Kobe Bryant.

Never diss your teammates. Absolutely the worst thing you can do is be a malcontent who gets everyone around him angry. And if your teammates can’t trust you on the court, things won’t get better. Nobody will put in a good word, either.

Don’t attack the coach. You wouldn’t want to be enemies with the one person whose vote for you counts. The coach has your playing time and role in his hands. Even though they say players win games and coaches lose them, coaches can also make careers.

Never publicly say which cities you want to go to. Deal from a position of strength. Why alienate your present fans, and give the teams in other cities leverage to negotiate you down? Talk privately, so you don’t breed hostility.

Keep your family and business separate. Speak for yourself. Don’t let your parents, siblings, wife or girlfriend meet the press. It just muddles the issue, because they may not have all the facts, and they often have their own opinion. Besides, if you’re worth all that money, why can’t you talk on your own behalf?

Tell your agent to be an agent, not a quote machine. Agents are there to negotiate contracts, and work out business deals. You look like a money-grubber who can’t be bothered with meeting the media on his own terms.

Never miss games, practices or team functions trying to get traded. The one thing you are getting paid for is to play the game, whichever sport it is. If you start sitting out, then you’re getting paid for nothing. I remember the mid-season sit-out by Patrick Ewing when he was suddenly not among the three highest-paid players in the league.

It did not look good.

Remember, someone has to want you to be traded. If nobody in management thinks you should be traded, shut up and play. It’s hard to cheer for somebody who may be a great player, but complains about everything and makes it hard to trust him. If you just say your piece, then work hard, you will get sympathy.

Memo to Kobe.