Eric Menk’s mom bares family secrets

When her son Eric was a little boy, Lucy Ramasasa Padua Menk never thought that one day, he’d play hoops for a living. Her husband Al taught Eric how to play ball when he was seven. By the time Eric was in Grade 7, she knew he was gifted. She knew Eric would be a star.

Lucy, 62, was born in Lawa-an, Eastern Samar. With two close friends who were like her sisters, she ventured to the big city to look for work after graduation. She wound up in Angeles City where she met a US serviceman stationed at Clark Air Base. He courted her for three months then left for home, promising to return to get married.

Al Menk, now 57, was based in Clark for 18 months and served in the Vietnam War. He was a high school basketball player in Ohio and enlisted in the Air Force, foregoing an athletic scholarship in college.

It didn’t matter that 6-3 Al towered over 5-2 Lucy. They fell in love like it was destined.

Lucy said she didn’t think Al would go back for her. "I told him I wouldn’t go to the States alone, that if he wanted me, he’d have to come back and get me," she related. "Three months after he left Clark, he returned and we got married in 1969. Then, we went to the States together."

The couple lived in California at first, moved to Canada, and went to New York after he was discharged from the military. In New York, Lucy worked for an insurance company and Al as a technical communications manager for a stock brokerage house. Eventually, they settled in Charlotte, 20 miles from Lansing, Michigan.

Lucy’s first pregnancy was traumatic. She had twin boys–one was still-born and the other died within 24 hours of birth. In 1974, Eric was born and a year later, Michelle.

Lucy said Eric was a colic baby and cried a lot. She doted on him. She doted on her daughter, too, and played no favorites. Al was a disciplinarian but there was really no need to be strict. Eric and Michelle did their chores dutifully. The Menks did a good job of raising their kids.

Living in a predominantly white neighborhood was tough on Eric in school. "I was different," he said, referring to his Fil-Am lineage. "Kids in school would tease me. I got into a lot of fights because of it."

Lucy said she couldn’t get rid of her thick Visayan accent and her kids would laugh when she mispronounced words, interchanged her p’s and f’s, and mixed her he’s and she’s. "Kasi sa Pilipino, we make no gender distinction when we refer to siya," she explained. "Once, we went to a fast food burger place and the person taking my order couldn’t understand my English so my kids started laughing. I just told them, whatever."

Lucy said they’ve always been a close-knit family. They often took weekend out-of-town trips. A favorite place was the beach at Fort Myers, Florida. Lucy noted that Eric’s favorite presents were anything related to sports, like souvenirs and T-shirts.

Lucy said she learned to appreciate basketball when Eric started to play for the varsity in school. "I wanted to know what was going on in a game so my husband taught me the rules, strategies and all that stuff," she continued. "Eric was always the standout in his team. He didn’t even play in junior varsity and went straight to the regular varsity. He got a scholarship at Lake Superior State which was a five-hour drive from our home. Since he played his games Thursdays and Saturdays, my husband and I often took off from work to watch him. We would leave Wednesday night and come back on Sunday."

Lucy said Eric had a special signal for his parents when he’d fall on the floor during a game. "If he raised his hand, that meant okay," she said. "Once, he fell and didn’t raise his hand. He had a bad ankle sprain. My husband, who has a temper, barged into the lockerroom and screamed at the security guard who didn’t want him to enter."

After college, Eric was recruited to play in the Danish league for a year. He had offers to play in England and Ireland when Filipino agent Sam Unera called. "I had contacted some agents to check out options," said Eric. "Apparently, Sam was in contact with one of those agents. He asked me if I would go to Manila to play. I’d always thought about going to the Philippines and tracing my roots."

Lucy said she was excited about Eric playing in her home country but was apprehensive. "I never taught Eric how to speak Pilipino and he didn’t eat Filipino food because his friends didn’t eat it," she said. "I’m not much of a cook anyway although my husband likes my pansit canton, egg rolls, and sticky rice with caramel and vanilla on top. At home, I taught him Filipino values like being respectful to elders, not leaving any food on your plate because there are so many starving people in the world. I was worried that he wouldn’t adjust to the Filipino life. I didn’t know if he’d like the warm weather."

Since arriving in Manila in 1998, Menk has been a fixture in the local basketball scene. He was a three-time Philippine Basketball League MVP before joining the Philippine Basketball Association (PBA) in 1999. Lucy has taken four trips here to visit Eric and Michelle has come once a year.

"Once, Eric and I went to the SM supermarket and the fans mobbed him," she said. "Eric’s basically a shy and private person, like his dad. So this was a big adjustment for him, being a celebrity."

Lucy said whenever questions are raised about Eric’s heritage, she’s perplexed. "Why are they doing this to my son?" she asked. "I was so worried and I couldn’t sleep that year when he was forced to sit out while his papers were being scrutinized."

Lucy accompanied her son to a Senate hearing recently and said she spoke to Sen. Robert Barbers. "I introduced myself and Sen. Barbers told me Eric’s his favorite player," she said. "I also spoke to Sen. (John) Osmena. They’re good people and they’re only doing their duty as Senators."

Lucy said Eric’s recent monster showing for Ginebra in the PBA wasn’t unexpected. "I know what he’s capable of doing," she said. "I just keep telling him not to be too tense, to relax, to loosen up, not to be tight, and enjoy the game. It’s a team game so he shouldn’t try to do it all. I’m so proud of my son. He’s my boy. After a game, he’d ask me, how’d I do, mom, and I’d speak my mind. I think I’m his biggest critic."

Last January, Eric visited his folks in Michigan and one of the first things he did was to take his mother to lunch at their favorite deli.

"I’ve always had a special relationship with my mom," said Eric. "My dad, I’m scared of. I wouldn’t wear my earrings in front of him. When I was a kid, he’d spank me for being naughty. My mom, I’d do everything she asks and I’d do it because she’s my mom. But I wear my earrings in front of her."

Lucy said she’ll tolerate the earrings but not tattoos. Eric swore off tattoos. And his long hair? Eric had a haircut to please his mother during her visit. She went back to the US last week.

Lucy and her husband recently retired from their jobs. Lucy worked in a bridal shop as a seamstress and Al, as a communications manager. They’re thinking of buying a home in Colorado or Florida. Maybe, they’ll spend half the year in Manila, half the year in the US.

"My husband and I are comfortable," she said. "We’ve got our own cars and we’ve got our own home. We’ve never needed anything from anyone. When I come to Manila, Eric takes care of me and I live in his apartment. He’s helping us buy our new home which is going to be partly his. My husband hasn’t been to the Philippines since 1969 so I hope he can come soon."

Lucy said Eric phones his parents at least once a week and e-mails his father twice or thrice a week. Michelle, who lives in Detroit and works as a flight attendant for a domestic airline, visits Charlotte on weekends.

"We’re like a typical Filipino family, very close, very loving, very caring," she said. "My wish for Eric is to marry a Filipina. I want him to be happy all his life and I think a Filipina wife will make him very happy."

Spoken like a true Filipina mother.