All-interview teams

One big news item after the NBA Finals is Shaquille O’Neal’s making his first NBA All-Interview Team. This was based on balloting from 113 media representatives who cover the NBA regularly. The criteria generally involves accessibility, "quotability" and sincerity.

Here in the Philippines, we should have a major awarding for All-Interview teams. This would really showcase some of the amusing and often curious replies given to interviews by our favorite athletes.

The most common victims are basketball players, who hog the limelight because of all their print and broadcast exposure. You’d be surprised at how often they use the same quotes over and over again. Some samples:

"We just have to give 110 percent." Is this an indication of how poor mathematical instruction is in our country? Or does it simply mean our players don’t give a hundred percent when they play.

"Gagawin namin ang aming makakaya." Gee, I thought that was the point.

"The team that wants it more will win." This was an almost unanimous opinion during the PBA Governors Cup Finals. Wonder of wonders.

But there are also some really creative responses which I’ve witnessed over the years. Without divulging names, some of my favorite bloopers are listed here. Let’s begin with one particular player who was voted most valuable player of the game. The interviewer naturally begins by being polite.

"Congratulations, ___________ for being the Most Valuable Player of the game."

His response?

"Congratulations also."

One point guard was having a hard time during practice, and his coach was on his case, lacing the tirade with choice unprintables.

"Hey, __________ what’s the matter with you? You keep losing the ball!"

"Coach, the floor is very sleepy." (He meant slippery.)

Or what about this known forward (now retired) who could not get over a particularly bitter defeat at the hands of a corporate rival (which is incidentally now a sister team). He pointed a finger to a friend on the winning team and remarked:

"Today you beats us, but some day, I will get back to you." (Does this have anything to do with the quip "Bullet day, I will giant you?" or "Balang araw, maghihiganti ako sa iyo?")

One other thing that I’d like to emphasize to players is to stop calling on God to take up your cause and push you to victory. Many players constantly refer to the Lord as being on their side, or how powerful their prayers were. Excuse me, gentlemen, but God isn’t a betting man. And He does not take sides.

One particularly entertaining gaffe took place at one MBA opening, when a known player from the south was interviewed about his team’s campaign for the coming season. He listed all the plans they made, and, reading the interviewer’s cue card beneath the camera says "We also have to go to gap," (Go to commercial.)

And that’s just what they did.

The arrival of Fil-Am players has added a different level of interviewing. Many of them are extremely witty and add color (no pun intended), but some also have a convoluted way of saying things. Come to think of it, they should be more articulate, considering that English is their native language.

With the advent of individual team websites in the PBA like the Shell Turbo Chargers’ www.turbochargers-pba.com, count on players being more precise in their use of English, or translators being more effective. Now, corporations are more conscious of how employees (and that includes basketball players) represent them in public. So expect less and less bloopers as the players are given more training in giving formulaic answers.

And I was just starting to enjoy myself.

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We’d like to congratulate Gaston Perez de Tagle, the fourteen-year old son of Fil-Estate and MRT executive Peng Perez de Tagle, for hitting a hole in one at hole 4 of Forest Hills last May 28.