Golf Rules

If you're in the least bit interested in the Rules of Golf-- and what golfer isn't-- you're going to love this quiz. I know. It's been user-tested by my barkada and me.

As I've mentioned a few times in this column, I'm part of a group of rules wonks that meet for a KKB dinner at the Manila Golf Club on the first Tuesday of the month; that is, if most of us are in town. Otherwise, it's reset for when a fairly sizeable bunch can make it.

What's a "KKB dinner"? That's one where you order and pay for your own victuals (kanya-kanyang bayad, get it?) hence, while others devour red meat, washed down with brandy, I can have pasta, rice, veggies and fruit juice. Each to his or her own comfort food, you know. And I said "her" since we do have a female member: Ditas Valles. (When, oh, when will more ladies join us?)

It's a loose, unstructured group (with no elected officers) and meetings are likewise without a rigid agenda. Once in a while, MGC members stop by our table to ask a question or two. People start drifting in at 6 pm and a few don't arrive till 8. Some will leave at 9, though most stay until 10. Stragglers linger up to 11 or so.

And yet, despite the typically endless Pinoy banter and chitchat, we do manage to deepen our understanding of the Rules of Golf before members start peeling off, presumably bound for bed or other more exciting pursuits. After all, the night isn't half over yet!

Our last meeting was even more rewarding than usual: we decided to tackle, as one collegial body, the Rules Quiz in the March/April issue of Golf Journal, a publication sent free to all USGA members, which I had brought with me to the meeting. There were 18 questions, with a choice of four answers per query, only one of which was correct. As pointed out by the magazine itself, the answers may be found in the Rules of Golf, which could be freely consulted without any time limit.

Wow, an "open-book exam" with all the time in the world to do it. You bet we went to town on that one. No answers were supplied (they will appear in the magazine's May issue) but I'm sure we got a perfect score. After all, we put all our noggins together and had the Rule Book itself to back up our replies.

Of the 18 questions in the original quiz, I'll let you try one. The best time for it might be after a round, while having refreshments at the clubhouse. (Note that the Rules are worded in plain English; you don't have to be a lawyer to properly interpret and apply them, but you have to know precisely where to look.)

QUESTION 10. Jack plays his second stroke from within a lateral water hazard. He thinks it may be lost outside the water hazard. He plays a provisional ball that comes to rest out of bounds. Jack cannot find his original ball after searching for five minutes. He drops another ball in the hazard at the spot of his previous stroke but decides not to play it. Jack then drops a ball within two club-lengths of the spot where his original ball last crossed the margin of the hazard before it came to rest in the lateral water hazard. He plays a stroke from there onto the putting green and takes two putts to complete play of the hole. What is Jack's score?

Is it 6, 7, 8 or 9?

Now clip this, put it in your wallet and pull it out when you and your pals are in the mood to test your officiating skills. Don't forget to bring a current Rule Book along.

But let me help you out a bit. Although there are 34 Rules, you don't have to scan all of them, Just ask yourselves: Where did the incident happen? (Answer: In a lateral water hazard; hence, simply go to the Rule Book's Table of Contents and locate the relevant provision covering Lateral Water Hazards; also look up Ball Lost or Out of Bounds; Provisional Ball.)

The answer is 9 -- but why 9? You must pinpoint where it says so in the Rules.

The annual Clash of Titans (according to some conceited alumni, anyway) will be staged at Canlubang, on either May 17 or 18, depending on the age group, with the following divisions: ladies; 29 & under; 30-39; 40-49; 50-59 and 60 & over. Open to all Ateneans and La Sallites.

ALAGA (Ateneo Law Alumni Golf Association) says I mustn't miss the event because I'm badly needed in the 60 & over age-group. Sorry, but I'll be in Laoag with my grandchildren for their long-delayed summer vacation. Besides, my so-called golfing talent, such as it is, will not be missed. I'm now 70 and I'd be a sitting duck for the La Salle hotshots aged 60 to 65. Let me reveal a sad fact of life: after 66, one's shots gradually become straighter but shorter.

Furthermore, it's so difficult to score--when you want to get laid, that is.

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