‘I wish I would have more time’

Napaka­sarap magmahal at mahalin, sabi nga ng  aking kai­bigang si Kris Aquino ay “Love, love, love!” Pero baka naman nakakalimutan mo na ang sarili mo. Kailangan nating tandaan na dapat ay marunong din tayong magmahal sa ating sarili at ganoon din naman sa pagmamahal sa ating kapwa. Ano nga ba ang konsepto natin ng pagmamahal?

Hanggang ngayon naman, it’s a journey, pinapag-aralan mo pa rin kung paano mo minamahal ang iyong sarili depende kung nasaan ka. Pangarap pero sana ay mabigyan ko pa ng oras ang sarili ko. You have to pamper yourself, of course ang unang manifestation ay pisikal, you love yourself because for example you buy yourself stuff that you think you deserve. You feed your body the best food that you can afford, and you feed your soul by nurturing your relationship with the Supreme Being.

For me, the expression of love talaga for yourself is finding time for yourself. I realized that it is important to show love to yourself, you have to be part of your schedule. You have to be part of your itinerary. If you have time to go to the restaurant with your family, if you have time to go to the park with your family, if you have time to walk, if you have time to exercise, you should put it in your schedule that you have to have time for yourself.

If you go down to the basic, it’s very simple, it’s very fundamental. I think it’s even natural but has been made unnatural by a various concerns we have about life. Loving oneself is really spending a lot of time, I’m not just talking about happy moments but times when things are not so good. You are able to talk to yourself, you are able to spend time with yourself, smile alone, talk to yourself alone. It is a reaction to the fact that I am not able to spend a lot of time with myself, but to me that’s the concept of loving oneself.

Again, it’s time. Time driven ang konsepto ko ng pagmamahal because I know I can spend more time with my nanay. I can spend more time with my friends, I can spend more time with Bong (Quintana) but I am not able to do it because again of the many concerns in my life. My profession, my work, it’s not wrong because you spend a lot of time working, but one day you gonna look back and say I should have spent more time. The gift of time to me is the sublime expression of love both for yourself and for others.

Tama ‘yung sinasabi nila that you can only share a lot of love if you have a lot of that with yourself. There are many ways of making up but again, that’s the second level to the expression of love. Techno­logy helps a bit, you’re always on the phone with people you love, you talk. I don’t think there’s a replacement for the actual laughter that you share together. It is an aspiration, it is a wish for me at this point in my life. I wish I would have more time. It is a paradox of life that when you have so much time for yourself and so much time with your loved ones, kulang ka naman doon sa ibang ele­mento. It’s really keeping that balance and realizing that every time, to really have the time for people who matter to you. Time, time, time talaga.