RAOKs and resolutions

Random acts of kindness. It’s become a worldwide movement (there’s actually a foundation – randomactsofkindness.org), and it works because of the participation of ordinary folks anywhere and everywhere. It’s about an unexpected gesture done to another person, often a stranger, to make his/her world brighter and make him/her feel special. These are little sparks of light in our otherwise dark world.

It’s more than giving a coin to the person who knocks on your car window when you’re waiting at the intersection. It’s not almsgiving, and it doesn’t just mean giving material things or money, although with so many people in dire need, sharing what God has blessed you with materially is a good thing. It can be as simple and random as an unexpected greeting (“Merry Christmas po!”) or compliment to a stranger at the mall – but be sincere (or it could be taken as an insult) and walk away (don’t stay to strike up a conversation) so you won’t be suspected of being a scammer or con artist or worse.

A friend sometimes hands little gifts to traffic enforcers – “they have to stand in the middle of the road and inhale all that pollution” – and then just drives away. Another friend once let two workers, with a P50 bill and some coins in hand to buy two cans of sardines and a pack of bread, go ahead in the supermarket checkout and paid for their items together with her own purchases. Yet another gave pamasko to the kasuy and mani vendors on EDSA that she encounters on her regular drive to Makati, a “feel good for me move,” she said, as she crawled along in traffic.

While this is the season of giving and goodwill to mankind, kindness all year round is a good resolution to make, and it’s not difficult to keep. Opportunities for kindness present themselves all the time and in all places and circumstances; you can be kind to the guy in the gas station, to the delivery rider, to the security guard at the bank or fastfood restaurant, to the guy selling balloons late into the night.

Being kind can be habit forming, and it’s a habit worth forming – and a resolution worth making. Start this Christmas; it’s a gift that keeps on giving – to others and, you’d be surprised, even to yourself.

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I asked several friends if they would be making New Year’s resolutions, and the reactions I got ranged from “what’s that?” to “di na ’yan uso.”

I guess making New Year’s resolutions is something from a bygone era – mine, in the Neanderthal age – like Christmas cards. We used to go to the bookstore to choose the nicest cards, then carefully, in our best penmanship, write the names and addresses and perhaps a greeting, then send it off – by mail. It was such a joy when the postman brought a card, plain or fancy, with your name on the envelope; e-cards just don’t cut it.

I still make resolutions but, like everyone else, keeping them is another matter altogether. I don’t bother making the usual ones like eating healthier or exercising more. The former I’ve succeeded to some degree, not because of resolve or discipline, but because old age limits one’s consumption capacity. Old age as well is a convenient excuse for lack of exercise – bad knees limit long brisk walks and doing stairs. I’ve taken to sit down (or lie down) exercises, also called chair yoga, but they’re not really fun. I did buy resistance bands, supposedly to strengthen my core. I’m going to try tai chi again; the names of the movements are very inspiring (white crane spreads its wings, part the wild horse’s mane) so maybe I’ll keep at it.

All that sounds really good but, as I said, doing all – or even some – of it regularly and consistently is another matter.

Maligayang Pasko!