The absent one among us

These are the things you are to do: Speak the truth to each other, and render true and sound judgment in your courts. – Zechariah 8:16  

The late Amy Carmichael, missionary leader in India, said that her mission had a rule for conversation: “The absent one must be safe among us.” That was her way of reminding people not to talk about another person in a derogatory way in their absence, when we would never say the same thing in their presence.

Amy Carmichael was not the first to observe such a principle. St. Augustine had a motto over his table which read, “He that speaks an idle word against an absent man or woman is not welcome at this table.” Augustine had remembered the words of Jesus, who said, “But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken” (Matthew 12:36).

How many times this past week have you heard someone say, “Did you hear about so-and-so?” And you replied, “No, what happened?” And they began to relate a choice bit of news that may have been totally out of context, or so distorted as to make the truth appear false.

Yesterday I was with two businessmen, and one asked the other, “Where were you this past weekend?” He replied, “Oh, I was up in the mountains with my secretary.” I joined the conversation and said, “And I hope your wife was along.” He smiled as he said, “Oh, I guess you did not know that my secretary is my wife.” How much damage could have been done with only the first half of that conversation?

Should you be tempted to gossip, remember Amy Carmichael’s motto, “The absent one must be safe among us.”

Used with permission from Guidelines Philippines, Inc. To learn more about Guidelines and the ministry, please write to Box 4000, 1280 Makati City, Philippines or e-mail address [email protected]. You may also visit our website at www.guidelines.org.