But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:15
In her book Tramp for the Lord, Corrie ten Boom tells about meeting in a church one of the prison guards from Ravensbrück concentration camp where she had been imprisoned. When she saw him, now a Christian and coming down the aisle to shake her hand, hatred rose in her heart. Telling of how she quickly prayed for strength to forgive the man who had humiliated and abused her, she adds that forgiveness is an act of the will. The will can function regardless of the temperature of your heart. Corrie says that when you make the decision to forgive, your emotions follow.
The first part of the healing process is a serious, meaningful confession of wrongdoing, asking the person you hurt to forgive you. Then the second part is the response of the one who has been hurt. If you are the victim, remember that whether or not the wrongdoer comes through with what you want to hear, you can rid yourself of the terrible burden of hatred and the desire for revenge. You can do this only through forgiveness.
Forgiveness is an act or a decision of the will and an ongoing process that has to be repeated – sometimes many times.
As long as you refuse to forgive, your soul bears wounds that fester and grow into an infection that spreads. Hatred and the desire for revenge are poisons that can literally and figuratively kill you.
When an unforgiving spirit grips you, ask the Lord to remove it. And leave it with Him! He will bring you healing and hope.