In praise of the plus

I don’t usually participate in organized gender celenrations like Women’s Month or in all-women organizations, but I’m paying a bit more attention to this year’s celebration of Women’s Month because it seems that a lot more attention is being paid to a particular group of women that is very special. Older women are being recognized and celebrated for the wonderful people that they are. Or maybe I’m just noticing this more this year as I join this august category.

Used to be that there would be really violent reaction when one used the words "older" and "woman" together. While some may still balk at being described as "older", true women of substance are accepting the inevitability and universality of aging–and enjoying it, glorying in it, in fact.

Personally, age has never really bothered me. Perhaps because in my family I am at the tail-end of my generation, old was never an issue. I never minded that my cousin’s grown kids would call me "Auntie" and their kids would call me "Lola"–even in public. It’s an advantage sometimes, when I can order the "kids" around and make them do what I want because "I’m old na". I can also walk at my own leisurely pace, or sometimes refuse to walk at all if it’s too hot or too far, and have people carry my things because "I’m old na"–when in truth I’m just lazy.

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The first movie I watched when I finally got a dvd player a couple of weeks ago (yes, yes–the Neanderthal got a dvd machine, and I even know how to operate it!) was "Under the Tuscan Sun" which my friend Mary insisted I must watch. Some dismiss the movie as a "chick flick", but it is easy to see why all my female–and a few male–friends love it. The best revenge after a lousy divorce from a louse of a man is a beautiful 300-year-old house in Tuscany, with a faucet in the living room and a couple of hot hunks to complete the Italian experience.

Then my sister-in-law Lydia gave me "Something’s Gotta Give" which is the quintessential "older woman/younger woman" movie, with the older woman winning out in the end (with that house in the Hamptons she’s a winner to start with). I was a bit surprised to find that even men liked the movie–or, at least, they tell me they liked the movie, thinking perhaps of their own Jack Nicholson days when Viagra is the secret you have to tell your doctor. Personally, I was rooting for Diane Keaton ending up with Keanu Reeves; Jack Nicholson was just a bit too predictable. But then where would that have left the older man? Jack Nicholson is supposed to have admitted that, after doing that movie, he has found a new admiration for older women, and finds Diane Keaton very attractive.

A friend of mine–I’m not using his name to, as always, protect the guilty–offers a formula for older men dating younger women: half your age plus seven, he says, is as young as a man should go. Another guilty friend admitted that he got quite a scare and almost swore off dating young women (I think in his case I should say young girls) when he came face to face, almost fist to face, with an irate father.

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Selling out every night at the Music Museum is "Menopause the Musical", a rousing celebration of older women. Four powerful women in the cast–Mitch Valdez, Sheila Francisco, Nanette Inventor and Leah nNavarro–and four powerful women producing it–Margie Floirendo, Maan Hontiveros, Carmita Francisco and Nina Romualdez–equals a powerful statement on why life at any age should be celebrated.

Our group of six was split down the middle: three under 30 and three over–way over–30. I don’t know how much the "kids" related to the jokes and the jibes, but my friend Tina and I were splitting our seams, sometimes not so much at what was being sung on stage but at how it related to us, our friends and people we saw in the audience. If you’re ginawin by nature, does that keep you from suffering hot flushes? At what pooint does a wrinkle cease to be a character line and become an honest-to-goodness wrinkle?

And it was so much fun to see my friend Tony cracking up as well; in fact, he was laughing so hard and so loud, even after the show ended, that a woman on her way out called excitedly–and delightedly–to her friend, "Hey, I found him–here’s the guy who was laughing so loud!"

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Then my friend Tet, who’s probably not quite 30 or just about, sent me this email in praise of Women 30+, written by Andy Rooney, the guy who ends "60 Minutes" with insightful if sometimes acerbic observations on life as he sees it.

Andy Rooney says:

As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn’t care what you think.

If a woman over 30 doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And it’s usually something more interesting.

A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 30 give a damn what you might think about her or what she’s doing.

Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.

A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn’t trust the guy with other women.

Women over 30 couldn’t care less if you’re attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won’t betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 30. They always know.

A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal.

For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize.