In midlife, women are usually more settled, more peaceful, more content as the riotuous early years of marriage and child-rearing give way to a life that is less stressful and more secure, with the children no longer in pre-school, the relationship usually has also matured into a nurturing partnership and the career into a fulfilling vocation.
For Olen Juarez-Lim, former model, teacher, fashion consultant and now image and training specialist and businesswoman, womanhood is a journey and the best is always yet to come.
At this stage of life, Olen’s greatest joy is seeing her two lovely daughters, aged 19 and 16, follow her footsteps on the ramp. For this magazine’s pictorial, mother and daughters are a pretty sight to behold–two generations of women who belong to magazine covers and the limelight. But beyond beauty and fashion, Olen is giving her daughters another legacy to treasure–empowered womanhood; and more than her profession, her life story speaks eloquently of this theme.
Married to basketball star Frankie Lim, hers was a fairytale marriage of an accomplished sportsman and a beautiful, pampered princess destined to live a life of glamor and comfort. But three years into the marriage with a baby daughter, she took the bold step of venturing on the road less traveled by her peers; she returned to the workplace to find a career and herself.
"I tried to be a stay-at-home wife and mom. But it never worked. I was bored. At that time, I was also searching for myself, trying to find my own identity. Hindi lang yung asawa ako ng basketball player," she says of the decision.
Olen was the typical girl who married right after college. "I was 21 when I got married and never had a career," she says. But since she was 14, she has been modeling part time. "I’d do fashion shows, luncheon shows, hotel shows and commercial modeling. If I had commercials I would earn, that’s good, but no pressure. I was more focused on my studies."
Using her background in fashion, she chose to do work in areas that are also close to her heart–health, beauty, fitness and personality development. "My first job was as a fashion consultant for Cesar Gaupo,"she recalls. "But I only did it on a part time basis as I had to balance my obligations with the family and my own fulfillment."
One part-time job led to another part-time job and eventually into a full- time career that specializes on giving women empowered skills to have a fuller and more meaningful life.
Today, Olen Lim conducts corporate training for businesses, associations and educational institutions. Among other things, she teaches corporate imaging and personality development, customer service and client relations, sales and marketing as well as event management.
Her speaking engagements take her all over the country to conduct workshops for employees of a wide variety of companies and organizations –retail, food groups, medical, cosmetics, even schools who want their teachers trained in all aspects of personality development and team building.
Prior to venturing on her own, she was director for corporate image and affairs of Mondragon Philippines, curriculum director and teacher at John Robert Powers Manila, corporate affairs director of Slimmers World, a part-time instructor at St. Scholastica’s College Manila, and a contributing beauty editor at Good Housekeeping Philippines.
Asked about her motivation to be all of these and more, she says, "Ang babae napaka one-woman show. And it’s really me. I do everything. I’m very strict with myself. I try to educate myself as often as I can. My future goal is even to undertake further studies abroad. At my age I still want to do a masters, taking up a course for my own business and write a book. Kasi hindi puwede yung experience lang. Education counts a lot."
Her most valuable advice to her daughters: "To be on their own and to always strive for the best for themselves. Kasi ayokong magpapa-api sila. I want them to have a mind of their own and to stand for themselves. Education is valuable to me and so I insist that they prioritize and finish their studies."
Now that the girls have started modeling themselves, Olen manages their career. "But I make it a point that they enjoy what they are doing and I really insist that they don’t do pictorials or shows on school days. I allow them because I want them to learn and earn. But just as there was no pressure on me to do it for a living, that’s also my policy regarding their work. As parents, we are proud of their accomplishments," she explains.
The eldest daughter, Yishay Alexandra, 19, is now a mass communications student at Thames while the second daughter, Jill Maureen Miakka, 16, is an incoming high school senior at St. Scholastica’s College. The youngest of the brood and the only son, Jose Carmelo, 12, is an incoming high school freshman at the St. Benedict College.
Success, however, is not the monopoly of the women in the Lim family. Frankie Lim, the original superstar in the family, is now team manager of Talk N’ Text Phone Pals. "He became a player, then a coach and now a manager. It’s not the usual career path of former basketball players. I think he is one of the few who rose from the ranks of a player. I’m pretty happy," Olen says proudly of her husband. Meanwhile, the only son is very much a basketball fan like his father.
Life, however, can still pull in a fast surprise for this family of achievers. This year, as youngest child Melo turns 12 and enters enters high school, another baby boy is coming into the family.
"What! Another baby?" the three kids screamed when Olen broke the news. With laughters and tears in their eyes, though, Olen reveals, they quickly warmed up to the idea of a new sibling at this point in their lives.
"I never prepared for this. I don’t think you will ever be prepared for anything like this," she shares with a laugh. "I really declared that I’m through with this."
Surprisingly, Olen says she is more physically fit now than with her three previous pregnancies. "Before I got pregnant, I was very much into exercise. I do aerobics, swimming, pilates. So, when this one came, I was really fit. My doctor said my pregnancy is even better than the previous ones, when I used to have threatened abortions.
"Sometimes I worry; can I do this again? Kasi I don’t know how na, eh. Nakalimutan ko na. To do this again is something new. My body has never had to adopt to a stomach. I never had a tummy for such a long time," the soon-to-be-mom confides.
Seven months pregnant and still very pretty and full of life, Olen sees only one reason for this coming bundle of joy. "When I learned about my pregnancy, I thanked God for the opportunity to be a mother all over again. I took it as a sign that God has full trust in me to give me another life to love and take care of. Wow, I said to myself, ang lakas ng believe niya sa akin. I figured that He has more faith in me than (I have) in myself,"she quips.
Olen doesn’t foresee any major changes in her parenting style. "I never had difficulty raising my three kids because I grew up with them. I married young and so our age gap is pretty close. With this one, everybody is happy and I think it is also an opportunity for my older kids to participate in child rearing. This one will truly be loved."
And how did her friends react to the news? "Very surprised!"she recalls with a laugh. "I used to hear reactions like ‘Di ba matanda ka na?’ and I go ´Di ba mas matanda ka?’ You know there are things in life that you don’t really plan. It’s all up to Him."