Writes a friend of Guidelines: "As a university graduate who has grown up in a middle-class family, I find it very difficult to submit to my husband as the Bible commands. Does that stuff apply to us today? Or was that only for people in Paul’s day?" How you would answer that letter depends on your views on the authority of Scripture and perhaps your cultural views as well.
First of all, you have to settle the issue of whether or not the Bible comprises the counsel of a loving God and Creator who knows how couples can best be happy. Or is it simply the writings of [godly] men? Then you have to ask if the counsel of Scripture was a timeless universal principle for all generations, or if it only applied to a specific situation Paul was addressing.
It is true that some advice Paul gave was applicable to a local situation that had gone out of hand. For example, his advice about women keeping silent in church was his response to the commotion resulting from women sitting on one side of the synagogue calling to their husbands who sat on the opposite side. Exercising what they thought to be their new freedom in Christ, when women didn’t understand something, they would call across to their husbands and ask for an explanation. It was something bound to create confusion.
What the Bible says about our roles, however, goes to the core of our natures and isn’t cultural at all. But what the Bible actually says and what some say that it says aren’t always the same thing.
Some men have taken the concept of submission to unbiblical extremes, reducing women to a level of servitude. God never intended this.
The Bible never suggests for a moment that women are inferior to men. On the contrary, in many respects women possess talents and strengths which we men don’t have. God intended us to complement and not compete with each other.
The word that the New Testament translates "to submit" literally means "to stand under". It was used in the military to denote submission to authority. Actually, both men and women are to submit to each other out of reverence for Christ (see Ephesians 5:22).
The role which God intends for a husband is not that of a dictator or a boss but a leader who takes the initiative spiritually and physically as a provider and protector.
A proper understanding of how God wants us to live our lives makes a tremendous difference in our relationships. God never intended a woman to surrender her individuality or uniqueness in marriage any more than He intended men to be dictators. God’s direction has to be better. He’s the Creator who gave us the blueprint for happiness.
Resource Reading: Ephesians 5:22-32