Singing for God

"I love it when we sing in churches. I always feel that God is singing with us."

I contemplated Aui’s statement as we arranged ourselves into formation in the choir loft. She was right. The year 2001 brought us to Germany, France, Switzerland, Austria, Prague and Hungary, and despite all the cultural differences there was always one constant: we were singing for God. Singing in church was coming home. And it didn’t matter that the congregation was French or Czech and we were singing in German or Filipino because our hearts and souls spoke the same language. From all tongues and souls poured forth the language of praise.

For the Ateneo de Manila College Glee Club, the year 2001 was the end of an era. Prof. Joel Navarro, conductor and mentor for 20 years, left for Michigan State University to take his doctorate in choral conducting. Many of the members had graduated and had plans to move on and plant roots in the "real world". Also in that year, our spiritual advisor and biggest fan, Fr. Vitaliano Gorospe, passed on and took permanent residence in God’s house. The European tour was the final leg of our journey together. It was the last time that we would answer the call to build bridges of song across nations and spread Filipino culture and faith under the banner of Ateneo. We didn’t know what the end would bring and what God had in store for us, but we were determined to end with a bang.

We traveled Europe by bus. Some of our bus trips lasted as long as 15 hours! In the middle of one of our trips the air conditioner broke down. It was the height of summer and we felt like chickens being baked in a moving oven. Again our food was wanting, and we dreamed of adobo and kare-kare when all we had were apples and a softdrink we dubbed "essence of Coke." To get through the trips with our sanity intact we entertained ourselves. Our driver was fond of playing a German song reminiscent of YMCA. Every time he played it some of our boys would leap into the aisle and "macho dance". If no one else was on the road our driver would get into it too and make the bus "dance." We played "concentration", a children’s game. We sang the entire Sound of Music and re-enacted Filipino AM-radio commercials. We made our own commercials as well, complete with jingles and sometimes even photo shoots, of the different kinds of food that our host families packed us off with.

All of our host families were warm and generous. They treated us like their own children and made sure we never wanted for anything. Most of our host families were Filipino overseas workers. We enjoyed our stay with them because they knew what we wanted most: warm rice and adobo. On our way to Switzerland we got lost and arrived almost two hours late for our concert. We had to dress up in the bus and sing as soon as we stepped down from the bus. We were tired, but we gave them a pleasant show. Afterwards, our Filipino hosts rewarded us with steaming hot rice, adobo and pancit that warmed our hearts as well as our stomachs. We felt that we were being given a piece of home.

Our fatigue was a small price to pay for the way their faces lit up whenever we sang songs from the homeland. The Filipino community in Prague was very proud to show off the "exotic" Filipino sound. And in Paris, the hard working mothers wept when we sang Anak. It was an effort for us to finish the song because some of us started to weep as well! But no song was as requested as the National Anthem. They would hold their heads high, and their eyes would sparkle with pride and tears. They gave us homes and food and friendship, something familiar to latch onto as we experienced beautiful but alien cultures.

Sometimes, we felt that songs were not enough to repay them, but when we saw their faces, we realized that songs can bring sunlight and beaches, palm trees and EDSA and brown smiling faces–and it would be enough. They work for their loved ones at home, and some may never even set foot there again. We carry home in our songs and it was wonderful to act as messengers of love and thanksgiving and to tell them that their sacrifices have not been forgotten. These people who have sacrificed their lives for better opportunities and for love are true heroes of the country.

In the year 2000 the Glee Club was awarded the Grand Prix de la Ville in the Florilege Vocal de Tours in Tours, France. This obliged us to return to Europe in 2001 to represent Tours and the Philippines in the European Grand Prix in Debrecen, Hungary. We competed against four other Grand Prix winners: a mixed choir from Latvia, an all-female choir from Ukraine, a vocal ensemble from Russia, and a children’s choir from Hungary. It was a festival that delighted musical connoisseurs because of the variety of sound that was presented. Many people argued that it should not have been a competition at all because how could you compare the young voices of a children’s choir and the full-throated singing of the Latvians? It should have been a festival that celebrated the best choirs from some of the best competitions.

However, it was a competition. For the first time we expected to win. All the other choirs were wonderful, but we believed the prize would be ours. We could not fathom any other ending to our journey. The announcement came almost immediately after the competition. We gathered in the hall, clasped hands, and listened to the representative of the jury with our heads held high. The winner was Magnificat, the children’s choir from Hungary. We could not believe it. How could it end this way? We worked so hard, we traveled all this way, we were ending an era, Sir Joel was leaving us, and this is how it ends? We trudged back to our hostel and, in true Glee Club fashion, laughed our disappointments away. We were bitter and sad and we could not understand, but we could always laugh.

The next day, we pushed our disappointment aside and during the ending ceremonies we spent some time getting to know the other choirs. The children from Magnificat were especially curious about us. Lesley and Maggie spoke to them as older sisters and Jolegs delighted them by giving out several kubing. Many people came up to us and said we sang beautifully, and some even said that we are the winners in their hearts. We were glad that we were able to reach out to people, and that eased our disappointment.

Our last day was Sunday, and we requested an arrangement to sing in a mass. We sang at an odd hour, so we made up more than half of the congregation. We went through the first part in a daze, then for the offertory song Sir Joel asked us to sing Take and Receive. We have sung that song more times than we could count, but it was only then that we truly understood the lyrics. When we sang the words Do what Thou wilt command, and I obey. Only Thy grace, Thy love on me bestow. These make me rich, all else will I forgo we began to sob. Finally, we understood. The prize was not the trophy. At the end of it all stood God and it was enough. No words could describe the revelation that each of us experienced.

Our final song was The Prayer of St. Francis. We sang it at the end of every tour. The year before, we sang it in jubilation and triumph from all our winnings. That final time, in the church, we sang it and understood what God had planned for us. We cried in our understanding, that in losing we in fact had won, and in the joy that we won the sweetest prize of all. Sir Joel said that it was a call to redirect ourselves and to remember our mission: God gave us our talent and brought us together not to win trophies for ourselves but to win hearts for Him. We sing together to be His instruments: For it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

We did not want to stop singing together, but it seemed inevitable. Too many of us had graduated and Sir Joel was leaving. However, it was so difficult to let go of the friendships formed and the music made, especially in the light of our revelation in Debrecen. Before he left, Sir Joel presented the idea of forming a semi-professional choir composed of Glee Club alumni and members of the 2000 and 2001 tours. We would adjust the schedules of practices to accommodate our other obligations. Most of us warmed up to the idea but it all depended on who would fill Sir Joel’s shoes. Sir Jojo was the only choice we would accept, but we were not too optimistic about his acceptance of the position because he was very much in demand. To our surprise and delight, he agreed to be our conductor. And so the Ateneo Chamber Singers was born.

It was Sir Jojo’s idea to make us a sacred music choir. Our mission was solidified, and our reason for being is to sing for the greater glory of God. Some of our members needed to follow their own paths, but we know that their hearts are singing with us and that in their own ways they are fulfilling their mission to be instruments of God.

The present batch of the Ateneo Glee Club is fresh and young, and we know that God will send them on their own spiritual journey. We are the end of an era, but we are also the beginning of something new and just as beautiful. We have traveled the world, only to find that we had never left home, because wherever we went God was with us. The world is our church, and we sing in a tongue understood by all: the language of praise.