There Can Be No Comfort Where There Is No Grief

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." – Matthew 5:4

Addressing a large crowd of hurting people, Jesus said, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted" (Matthew 5:4). Mourning and being blessed seem contradictory, but they are not. Those who cannot give vent to their emotions and mourn what should be mourned never find emotional healing. Simply put, there can be no comfort where there is no grief.

As I prepared today’s selection, I sat at the old kitchen table in my father’s home where I grew up. Dad was almost 89 when he finally lost his battle with skin cancer, melanoma. I was experiencing the grief that Jesus described. Everywhere I looked in the house, my heart was touched with memories; there were pictures of children, grandchildren and friends. In the basement was the old train track for the Lionel 027 that Dad put together. And I do grieve, of course.

Grieving is God’s way of purging our hearts of the deep emotions that need to be expressed. Though it defies human logic, it is true, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." By whom? First by God, whom Paul described as "the God of all comfort" (2 Corinthians 1:3). Then we are comforted by the promises of God’s Word. Paul says that "we, through patience and comfort of the Scriptures, might have hope" (Romans 15:4, KJV). Then we are also comforted by friends and loved ones (see 1 Thessalonians 4:11).

I encourage you in your grieving to consider three guidelines which have helped me.

Guideline #1. Externalize your grief. This means you must talk, communicate. In our last few hours together, Dad and I talked about fishing trips we did, about outdoor experiences, of vacations. We laughed and cried and thanked God for His goodness. Getting it out of your heart is part of the secret of getting on with life. After the death of a loved one you may need to talk to someone else you trust. Let others minister by listening.

Guideline #2. Internalize your faith. There are some things which your head tells you are true and which your emotions challenge. These truths you must take by faith. No, I have never seen a dead person rise from the grave. Do I believe that someday we will be together again? Yes, with all my heart.

Guideline #3. Eternalize your hope. Paul wrote to the Thessa-lonians who had faced the loss of loved ones and reminded them that Christ will return, and that our bodies will again rise from the grave. Then he said, "Wherefore comfort one another with these words" (1 Thessalonians 4:18).

Jesus was right. Strange as it may seem, those who mourn are blessed with the comfort that can come only by expressing grief.

Resource Reading: Matthew 6:1-12