Surrender, accept, de-clutter, live!

This year, I resolve not to be a control freak, to surrender when I know I have no control over things, and to de-clutter. Major de-cluttering is an annual mission. In short, I am giving myself space within and around me to live life to the fullest.

Unless I am planning a rocket launch, I resolve not to seek control over all the nuts and bolts of all my endeavors. Perhaps, seeking perfection means allowing others, the weather even, to make a perfect day for you. Though you are the master of your fate and the captain of your ship, you need to leave the wheel sometimes to your first officer and catch 40 winks in your bunk.

“Freedom is the only worthy goal in life. It is won by disregarding things that lie beyond our control,” says a quote attributed to Epictetus, a philosopher.

I remember a popular celebrity-politician once recounted a flight where she mistakenly checked in a significant amount of cash in her suitcase and by the time she realized it, she was already on the plane that was about to take off. Instead of worrying about whether the cash would be pilfered from her suitcase, or if her luggage would be lost, she formed a thought balloon in her mind that said, “Let your worries go.” And she let her worries fly away like a balloon and slept like a baby during her flight. The cautionary tale had a happy ending. The cash was not lost.

I once asked Menchu Concepcion after her beloved husband Ronnie was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and eldest son Robie with cancer, how she managed to be radiant and composed all the time, and she said, “Acceptance.”

After that, shortly before Christmas of 2022, she lost her son Patrick.

After Patrick passed away unexpectedly, Menchu said:

“Through all these trials, I have learned many lessons, and the biggest and most important is acceptance. I believe our Lord will not give me any burden that I could not bear. It is a blessing that my husband has Alzheimer’s disease and can no longer feel and be aware of Patrick’s moving on. It is a blessing that Patrick had a beautiful death, surrounded by family and after receiving the last rites of the Catholic Church.”

Acceptance may be a bitter pill to swallow. But life offers you a glass of water, from many nourishing sources (especially prayer), to help you swallow it.

De-clutter

Yes, it’s judgment day in our homes. A tip I learned from Oprah: To minimize clutter in a room, make sure only three major activities take place there on a daily basis.

It is always a good idea to revamp your clothes cabinet and purge it of non-performing assets. Be merciless. Be sentimental some other time, like when you’re watching Sleepless in Seattle.

First, share even what is not outdated. Generosity is its own reward.

Second, ship out the overstaying items in your cabinet. Enforce the one-year rule except for gowns (baptismal gowns, wedding gowns, ball gowns) and other formal wear that have a longer shelf life and have sentimental value. You may also want to hold on to your Miyakes and Guccis that are timeless. But if they’re no longer your size, you can share them or sell them. Even Saks Fifth sells pre-loved designer clothes. Kate Middleton wore a rented gown to a formal event in Boston a couple of years ago.

Clear your desks of supermarket receipts, especially after you’re certain the time has lapsed for you to exchange anything from it, pamphlets and brochures and annual reports from a decade ago. Don’t be clingy to old makeup. Sniff perfume and lotion from their bottles and check if they already smell rancid.

As for your kitchen cabinets, check if some canned goods have already gathered moldy memories from Christmases past. Check expiration dates and throw those that threaten to make you expire from a bum stomach yourself.

Purge your refrigerators of leftovers older than Father Christmas. Next time, cook only what you can eat and spread the joy of good food by sharing it.

Reinvent fresh leftovers — leftover salmon into salmon croquettes, for instance.

But it isn’t just our cabinets begging for a revamp. Our lives, too, need some de-cluttering. Don’t fill up your schedules with work, play or parties. Even when you’re working from home, know when to shut down your computer. Leave space for silence. Take even hourly breaks from social media. Leave space for doing nothing.

Surrender

I have just started praying the “Surrender Novena” to Jesus by Father Dolindo Ruotolo shared by one of my batchmates. (You can look it up online). It is as calming as the sound of a running brook. It fortifies your faith. Knowing a Being mightier than yourself is always in charge makes it easier for you to let Him take the wheel.

Father Dolindo called himself “Mary’s little old man.” He lived in such great poverty that his own family turned away from him. He opened his arms without fear to embrace contagious sick people. Many miracles have been attributed to Father Dolindo’s intercession, both before and after his death.

Excerpts:

“You see evil growing instead of weakening? Do not worry. Close your eyes and say to me with faith: ‘Thy will be done, You take care of it.’ I say to you that I will take care of it, and that I will intervene as does a doctor and I will accomplish miracles when they are needed.”

“You are sleepless; you want to judge everything, direct everything and see to everything and you surrender to human strength, or worse — to men themselves, trusting in their intervention — this is what hinders my words and my views. Oh, how much I wish from you this surrender, to help you; and how I suffer when I see you so agitated! Satan tries to do exactly this: to agitate you and to remove you from my protection and to throw you into the jaws of human initiative. So, trust only in me, rest in me, surrender to me in everything.”

My batchmate who shared the prayer says that when she does not have a copy of the novena, she simply says, “Jesus, I surrender myself to you. Bahala ka na.”

So, surrender, accept things beyond your control, de-clutter and wake up to a new day, a new life.

Happy New Year! *

You may e-mail me at [email protected]. Follow me on Instagram @joanneraeramirez.